Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Click (04/18/13)
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TITLE: Out of the Darkness | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kim Norton
04/25/13 -
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Click. Clack. Click. Clack.
Katherine heard the footsteps growing louder as they came down the hall. "No! I'm so close," she thought aloud. "Just a few more seconds."
Click. Click.
Katherine turned her head at the sound of the key unlocking the office door. She slid quietly under the desk and out of sight as Ms. Gibbs, Head Master of The Academy, slipped through the heavy wooden door. Katherine sat motionless as Ms. Gibbs reached over her desk taking a disk from the computer.
"Found it," shouted Mrs. Gibbs over her shoulder towards her secretary. "Can you please make 200 copies of tonight's program?"
Click. Ms. Gibbs turned off the light as she closed the door behind her.
Katherine slipped out unnoticed. Her mind raced with anticipation. She had a plan. She was taking her life back!
In the stairway she gripped the handrail counting each step on the way down. When she reached the second floor, she entered the lobby. "Ok, six paces to the right. Turn the corner. Second room on the left," she coached herself aloud. She listened cautiously outside the door to make sure no one was there. Inside Katherine found the open box on the table. She meticulously fingered through each case. "One, two, three.... eleven, twelve, thirteen. There!" Katherine gently slipped a CD into the next slot.
Once again she found herself down the unfamiliar hallway. She slowly made her way to the courtyard and exited the building. She had a few minutes to make it across campus before her final preparations for the big event. On her trek through the school her mind swirled with emotion.
For years I've been told I couldn't do it. I've bought into the lies. "Poor girl," they say. Well, I say, "No more!" I'm taking matters into my own hands. No more hiding! Katherine Wallace is coming out of this darkness to shine!
Just a few steps away, Katherine could hear the hustle and bustle outside the studio. She felt invisible as she made her way through the crowd clumsily knocking into a few people as she walked. She made her way inside and found her place in line. "Ticket for one," she told the lady at the booth. "Right this way. Let me help you, dear," ushered the sweet older gentleman at the theatre entrance.
Katherine painfully sat through the first half of the production. The music was amazingly beautiful, but she wanted to be on the stage with it. She wanted to be part of what the audience was experiencing. With every beat and each applause her heart ached for the joy she once knew.
She slipped out of her chair and traced her steps back to the lobby. She listened intently to the activity around her. The place buzzed with excitement.
Now's my chance!
Katherine shuffled to the backstage door. She crept in discreetly and made her way behind the curtain. She slipped her bag off her shoulder and switched out her shoes.
"Show time. Part two," yelled the stage manager. "Up next is Katherine Wallace." She paused, seemingly confused. "Katherine Wallace? This can't be right. She's not in the show."
"Check again," defended Katherine.
Click. The stage manager hit a button on her headset to contact a production assistant. "Yep, her name is listed in the program," came the reply.
"But, what about music?" she demanded.
"It's all taken care of," Katherine said with a grin. Just then the curtains opened, lights came up, and a joyful melody began to play.
"That's my cue," Katherine exclaimed. "Here. Hold this for me, will ya?" she asked as she held out her white cane to the dumbfounded young girl backstage.
Click. Click. Clickity Clack. Shuffle. Shuffle step.
Katherine glided across the stage with ease as she felt the rhythm beneath her feet. Her soul danced with each step she took. She felt the warmth of the spotlight on her face once again. For a moment in time she forgot the clicking sound of the trigger that took her sight and almost her life.
Each heel click and tap brought more applause. Although she couldn't see their faces, she knew she had conquered. She had defeated the enemy. Katherine regained her joy and proved to everyone she was ready to face the world again!
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Tiny red ink, okay should be spelled out or both letters capitalized.
Like I said you did a great job with the ending. I worry that some readers who are rushing might not catch that a gunshot made her blind. You give great clues in retrospect and that makes the twist even more thrilling. I know part of the problem of not going into the story of how she became blind was due to the word count. That's always hard to know what to cut, I've had to chop 1,000 words or more when I first started the challenge. perhaps less time in the office would have allowed a flashback to the click of the trigger.
You did a great job of weaving the topic in this story. You also did a nice job of building your MC and making her feel real to me. Suspense is definitely your forte!
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Well done and congratulations on your winning entry.