The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is an interesting story. You did a nice job of describing the conflict right away and made me wonder how the poor kid would be able to sing with a sore throat.

I did have a hard time figuring out who was speak and who all of the characters were. Make sure you use quotation marks and start a new paragraph each time the speaker is changed. You can throw in some narrative lines to help the reader know who is talking as well as giving some insight into the MC's mood and personality. For example: "He is so sick he may through everyone off-key." Jackie crinkled her forehead and pretended to plug her ears.
Though it may not be a perfect example, I hope it helps to show what I mean. The reader can tell that Jackie is concerned but also that she has a bit of a sense of humor.

You definitely covered the topic and in more than just one way. Your subtle sense of humor is great and left me smiling. Keep writing and if you ever need any help proofreading check the message boards or send me a PM and I'll try to help. Good job on this light-hearted story.
I enjoyed the story. Thanks. God bless~