The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 331 times
Member Comments
Good job with this. It was a well written entry that was on topic, and pulled some "well known" scriptures into play to support the story. Nicely done.

God Bless~
This essay is filled with thoughts and ideas that I hasven't ever pondered. It's great when a piece makes the reader stop and think.

The biggest thing you need to work on is how many times you repeat a word in one paragraph. If you go back and count how many times you used the word book in the first paragraph I think you will be surprised. In the next paragraph you use brother three times and story four. A way to get around this is to tighten your sentences up -- something like this: The Bible tells of the sons of Adam and Eve. Cain the elder brother tilled the earth while Abel herded sheep.
I did a couple of things with this sentence, I tightened it up and used less words. I also tried to substitute action verbs for passive ones like was, is and were.

I'm not sure you really needed the beginning about Gone with the Wind as your story isn't about that at all. Instead the heart of the story told of Cain and Abel and how God needed a perfect sacrifice offering to redeem the person giving the offer.

Your message was a powerful one. I never completely understood why God rejected the crops offering. You did a wonderful job explaining that in a way that makes sense. This is a well-thought out piece that would make an excellent start of a Bible study. Nice job.