The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/02/12
Beautiful job with this piece. Good story with a powerful message. Nicely done. God Bless~
02/04/12
I could easily picture the old man with your description. I wonder if a bit of dialogue--or attempted dialogue--with the MC and old man might not give a bit more color to Nora's struggle. You have done a nice job with a powerful message. Keep writing.
Great story. I could definitely see this developed into a novel.
You have a wonderful way of painting a picture. I could see the house and feel Norah's trepidation.

You had some words left that I wish you had used to develop your characters more. They both seem quite fascinating and I was eager to learn more about them.

The ending was good. I felt like you covered the topic in a meaningful way while delivering an important reminder to the reader.
02/07/12
Really good job and beautiful descriptions. I know we only get 750 words so we have alot to say in a short amount of time.

I was not fully engaged until "The man inside was thin and old." Then I got really interested. If you start in the middle of something, then you have more words to build conflict and resolution.

Well done.