The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 783 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Your story was a nice read. There are many people who can relate to this story. I liked how you described the us factor with (the + sign). I enjoyed reading this from one beginner to another.
Thanks for the story.
08/12/11
This is a great story and shows the importance of being committed to Christ, for our own good! I liked the ending; isn't it wonderful to know that God accepts us,'mistakes and all' and will use all situations for good! Well done.
I really commend you for tackling a difficult topic. Even the most dedicated Christian can be talked into doing something that goes against her beliefs.

You did have several minor editing errors its' should be its. Also when using ellipses be consistent if you put a space between the dots or not. Also try not to overuse them.

But the strength of your story helps to overcome any errors. You had great developed characters and a message we all need to hear now and then.

Your dialogue moved your story nicely and at a quick pace. When your main character chooses to return to her faith I applauded you for your choice for her. Thank you for a story that captures hearts for Jesus.
How sad that she got involved with someone out of the faith but praise the Lord for His mercy and welcoming arms. I'm glad your character made the right choice in the end. This could be a tool to speak to young girls and women everywhere. I'd like to see more of this in later chapters showing her life as she grows in the Lord, along with her little + sign. :)Keep up the good work.