The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a tender story with a warm message. Be sure to use quotation marks when writing conversation. There are writing lessons available in the Forum section that are worth checking out. Keep writing.
It is a heartwarming story of forgiveness. I liked the way the kid that owned the bike brought a bike for the other. Nice ending with that. Also, you could use some quotations. Thanks for the read.
This is A great story but I felt like I was hearing it over the phone, I want to read and feel like I'm watching it on TV. It's the old adage, show Don't Tell. For example in your line, He asked, is it your bike?

Show me what he looked like. Just by changing it slightly you have a picture for the reader: His face slowly turned red; he shook his fist at me, "Is this your bike?"

I love your characters and the ending was so great. You have wonderful stories in you Don't stop writing them.
Congratulations on ranking 11th in level one!
great story and well written. If you take not of the positive comments and suggestions this will polish it up for the readers but the plot and the theme and the message are all there.
Did you use the title Tory's Story as a pun on Toy Story? I personally would have called it 'The tale of two bikes' but that's just me!