The Official Writing Challenge
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It's wonderful how God turns up in our darkest times and carries us through. It would be easier to read if you double spaced sentences and speech. I learned how to do this by looking at some of the masters' writing entries.
So many people find it easy to blame God when things go wrong. How wonderful that he loves us so much, that he shoulders on anger, holds us and gives us hope.

You had some incomplete sentence and punctuation errors that can be easily fixed by a good proofread.

You did a nice job with the Characters and showing the range of emotion that the MC felt. Nice job.
great story! and i liked the way it was her own brother who came to the rescue this added a lovely extra layer to the story.
i think that a little spacing would improve the "look" of the story but the content is a winner for sure at least in my opinion!!