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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Oops (01/14/10)
Tongue Tied

Being the youngest and newest Admissions Clerk at a Catholic Hospital, I was determined to prove my worthiness as both an efficient and compassionate co-worker.

Unfortunately, one such opportunity proved to leave my peers in an alarmed state of surprise and disbelief, not to mention myself!

I was admitting an exceptionally polite, yet timid teenage boy accompanied by his particularly well mannered father. As I opened his admission pack to begin the registration process, he enthusiastically pulled a wrist band from a previous admission out of his shirt pocket. He informed me that he had fastidiously kept it in good shape so I would not have to go through the work of making a new one. With great appreciation, I explained to him the many reasons I was unable to use his old wrist band.

He immediately hung his blushing face toward the floor and quietly apologized to me for not realizing this. For a moment, I was speechless while my heart sank at his obvious dejection and embarrassment, so I went into overdrive in an attempt to make him feel as though he had in fact, done me a favor.

I reached for his old wristband now sitting crumpled inside both of his closed hands and fervently told him it would actually help me find his old chart. However, I got tongue tied and replaced the ch in chart with the f in file and blurted out the unthinkable!

With horror-struck saucer eyes, I immediately apologized for my mistake but was also smiling at what I apparently found to be somewhat amusing until I looked around at my co-workers, the patient and his father and realized that I was the only one smiling!
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/21/10
I love it. I did the same thing once.
Shann
Sara Harricharan
01/22/10
Yes, that is an Oops. LOL. I know those kind of moments and the dreaded awkward pause when you discover you are the only one laughing. Good short story. the title fits.
Jan Ackerson
01/25/10
Great story! Definitely made me laugh.

A quick suggestion--instead of telling this narrative style, tell it like a story with the conversation between you and the young man. It might have even more impact that way.

I've started a thread in the message boards specifically for Beginner and Intermediate writers, and I'd love to have you stop by. http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67

This was a nice grin in my morning of reading--thanks!
Margaret Kearley
02/08/10
Have just read this AnneRene! Brilliant and very well written. Reminds me of the time when my waitress-aunt offered a customer Lemon Turd Cart!
Darren Pettis
03/09/10
Holly this is a very insightful and wonderful story.

There have been many Freudian slips in my past conservations that made me cringe and want to immediately disappear.

Great Job and thanks for sharing this funny story with me.