Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Purple (11/05/09)
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TITLE: For Worse | Previous Challenge Entry
By Salina Bishop
11/11/09 -
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‘I’m making the right decision,’ I told myself firmly, willing my heart to believe it.
‘But I said my vows. I promised for better or for worse. I promised. From one end of the spectrum to the other, I had promised to stay.’ I grip my hands tighter around the arms of the leather chair.
‘Am I really willing to break my commitment before man, and obviously before God? How much more can I take?’ I start to wrestle with my conscious, reluctant to let go of these injurious thoughts.
‘Do those commitments, those vows spoken in front of God, do they linger forever? Can they disappear, as though they were never uttered? Why am I even asking these questions?’ I force my hands through my dark hair.
‘He was the one who broke our vows. He betrayed me. I’m no longer held captive to our marriage. Besides, it’s too late. I’m here, it’s now or never.’
Time seemed to stop. The impending footsteps faded, my body fell numb. I began to remember the way he loved me, or so I thought he did. The way he held me, so close. The feel of his breath on my neck, or the taste of his lips. ‘I can’t be imagining this can I? We had an incredible love. Why did he let us go? Why did he let me go? Why did God let this happen?’
I unwillingly begin to reminisce about the birth of our love, still grasping for the puzzle pieces that brought me here. It seemed no use fighting it. I let the memory overcome me. My eyes closed and suddenly there I was, there he was. I could still smell the red roses, and the hint of dinner still played on my lips. I glanced over my shoulder, and my love was there. Kneeling on one knee, a small, velvet box gracing his trembling hand. He looked deep into my eyes, the smell of his cologne delighted my senses.
He began, “ I know you. I have memorized everything about you. The way you scrunch your face and the perfection of your teeth, as the gentle melody of your laugh releases into the air.”
Lifting my chin delicately with his fingers, he continued,“The touch of your soft tanned skin and the way your eyes, dark as mahogany, sparkle like millions of diamonds glistening in the light of the sun.”
He tenderly pushed back the wisps of hair falling into my teary eyes. “The feel of your hair as it cascades down your back, like a river of dark chocolate over my hands. The way you wipe away your tears, hoping no one will notice so they won’t think you foolish for crying over something silly.”
He paused, taking my hand in his, he whispered, “I can’t imagine my life without you.”
He closed his eyes, looked down and cleared his throat. He removes the diamond ring slowly from it’s comfortable spot upon the small satin pillow.
“I want to watch you grow old. I want to grow old with you. I want you to always be mine. I want the girl who loves the color purple. Will you marry me?”
Instantly, my eyes pop open. The sudden urge to leave overcomes me. It threatens to suffocate me. I gather my belongings and quickly stand up.
‘I can’t do this!’ I think to myself, scanning the room, negotiating a quick exit.
‘I can’t be here. I made a commitment to him, to endure till the end, for better or for worse. I’m not done fighting, this can’t be the end.”
I pick up speed making my way to the exit. Guarded with peace and a sudden understanding of what I wanted, I slam out the heavy wood door, never looking back. I want to be his girl, for better or for worse. The girl who loves the color purple.
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