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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Up and Down (04/02/09)
Snakes and Ladders

I was great today – I argued with two Jehovah's Witnesses today for half and hour about the diety of Christ. That alone should get me up a ladder – a big one, at that. And yes, that's me, up up up, totally bypassing that Snake on square 16, that would take me right back down to square 3.

I also had my quiet time, move on 1 square, and prayed for all the people on my 'List of people I want saved' – forward one – move up another ladder – to square 32. Except I didn't pray for my sister, 'cos I'm annoyed with her at the moment. Back a square, but still avoiding the snake on square 30.

Gossiped with Anna at the school gate in the afternoon, about Jenny's mum. I'm actually feeling quite guilty about that, because Anna's not a Christian, and what kind of example did I set? Come to think of it, does she even know I'm a Christian? All the way back down that snake, back to square 10. And I can't remember what the bible verse was from this morning's quiet time – back a square, stuck at square number 9.

A few good deeds in the afternoon move me on up the board again, square 10, 11, 12 – I'm patient with the kids, until teatime at least; I manage to stay cheerful as I put on yet another load of washing; I don't swear (at least not out loud in front of the kids) when a driver cuts me up. Another ladder! Back up again, square 25 – this Christianity thing is easy! Except .... it’s not helping me deal with my stress levels. And I'm constantly worrying. That means I'm not trusting God, right? When was the last time I relaxed and felt peace? Slipping back down the board? I sense a Snake nearby – and, yes, that’s me, back down the Snake, to square 15. Depressed again. Frustrated that I can't get it right – not all the time. And only 'part of the time' is not good enough – I want perfection. Its all quite exhausting sometimes. And I can't quite shake the sense I'm going about this all wrong.

Let’s start again. Lord, forgive me. Help me trust You. Help me cast all my cares on You. Thank-you that you love me. I feel at peace. I know that I am loved, and I feel I could stop all the Snakes and Ladders, give up trying so hard. I'm feeling quite humbled (up a ladder). How humble I am! How proud I am of my humility! (right back down a Snake!). Up a ladder, down a snake – all on my own effort. I need something more.

I go to church – and worship Jesus with all my heart. My eyes are fixed on Jesus, I feel His love and acceptance. The sheer hard work seems irrelevant. This is how it should be.... I also pray out loud in small group and it sounds quite impressive, even though I say so myself. There's that pride again – another Snake. Up and Down, in the space of a morning.

I'm so aware of my self – my thoughts and feelings. Criticizing myself each time I slide back down, proud of myself when I move on up. Even during those times when I'm close to God, knowing how cherished I am, despite my faults, that small voice takes note and reports back. And I feel good, satisfied with myself, or bad, disappointed with my efforts. Feeling Up and Feeling Down – doing well and doing badly.

This is what I need to grasp. God loves me whether I'm failing or succeeding. His Love remains the same, unchanging. He doesn't love me more when I'm climbing up the ladders, or love me less when I'm sliding down a snake. His game is different to mine – and better. He's already won it, for a start. And He's calling me to leave my games behind, and join Him in His. Start a friendship with Him, instead of always trying to please Him. Up and Down? Yes. But still winning.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
04/11/09
I love board games, so I really got a kick out of this extended metaphor. Excellent!
Yvonne Blake 
04/13/09
wow...great analogy!
I like the line "He's already won it from the start."
If we would claim that, then we wouldn't focus on the little ups and downs.
Myrna Noyes
04/15/09
I really enjoyed this story and identified with your MC! You did a good job of showing the personal spiritual games we play--games of our own devising, games we can never,ever win. Thank you for sharing this with us! :)