The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/01/08
This is beautifully written, so touching, so poignant! I like the way that you worked in the Gospel without putting a sermon at the end. Well done!
12/01/08
Your story makes Christianity genuine. I loved your note at the bottom, too! This was news to me. Great job!
Great story! I love how she was prompted to "follow the star", and how God led her "home", and to salvation from her circumstances. Beautiful.
12/01/08
Very touching and thought provoking. Well done.
Oh, I like this alot. You held my attention from the beginning. I also appreciated the end-note as I was unaware of the existence of such charities. :)
12/02/08
This is a lovely story, well told and it reads very naturally. How wonderful it is when the Holy Spirit brings people to Jesus like this, and God's children are ready and willing to be used by Him! One very small niggly thing: when the man read from the Bible I wasn't clear if that was just to Jemma or to the group in general? I felt the image of him sitting down near her and reading just to her felt a bit intimidating, while the idea of his reading to the group would feel 'safer'. I wasn't sure which you intended?
12/02/08
Well done! What a wonderfully told story. You drew me in and held my attention.