The Official Writing Challenge
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Fun beginning. Keep double spaces between paragraphs in the rest of the story to keep it flowing on the eyes. This has potential for a kids sunday reader.
Very cute!
I agree, I can picture this lesson taught in Sunday School. Very nice. I would say the same about spacing between paragraphs.
God bless, littlelight
With a little work I can see this being a great story for a children's magazine or Sunday School paper. The beginning was a bit confusing as you seemed ot switch back and forth between third person and first person. Good work!
This is beginning of something greater. Keep working on this and submit it to a Christian children's magazine.
A nice object lesson -might work well in a kids take home paper for Sunday School.
A fun story on the meaning of true "value". I think kids would like this one!