Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Patience (08/21/08)
-
TITLE: Sleepy Head | Previous Challenge Entry
By Randy Lucas
08/21/08 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
the heartbeat steady.
The moment near
and she is ready.
Quiet now. Quiet.
No muscle moves.
Still, like death
and now she proves
her patience,
that is innate.
From birth to now
it’s been her fate...
Wait! Slowly.
Not a sound.
The sky shades quiet,
the nervous ground
is like a subtle breath
before the victor’s shout.
And she is certain,
there is no doubt
that the moment now
is close at hand.
And soon the earth
will understand
the reasons for
her stayed, still hand.
But now…now, there is
quiet, quiet, in the land.
The moments pass
with growing light,
while quietly fades
all trace of night.
And still she will not
leave her post.
Eyes fixed, stark still
more still than most
trees on a calm
summer day.
The moment birthed,
soon passes away.
And now the moment!
Now hear the joyful sighs!
As now the child, her baby
gently opens up her eyes.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Excellent rhyme and story and topic intertwined.
Keep up the great work.
Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship
It was probably just me, but it took me a few read-throughs to figure out exactly what this piece was about (poetry is not my specialty, so take this with a grain of salt).
Beautifully done.
What tremendous picture of a parent's adoration for their child.
Keep it up, you're doing great. The rhyme, as well as the theme.