Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)
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TITLE: Revengeful Housewife | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kitt Swanson
02/20/08 -
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Al’s cell phone vibrated.
Pick up the phone.
Pam picked up the phone. It was a text message.
The evil spirit lingered over Pam as she read.
“I had a great time last night. Let’s get together Thursday, love Mandy.”
The demon touched Pam with its claw.
Mandy?
At the sound of Al’s footsteps coming down the hallway, she laid the phone down in its original place and began dusting.
“I’m off to work honey.”
Al kissed Pam on the forehead then left.
The evil visitor blew green vapors through his nostrils towards Pam.
Pam punched the sofa pillow she pretended to dust.
The seething demon whispered in Pam’s ear.
Don’t let him disrespect you like that.
Yeah Al you can’t disrespect me like that.
Remembering Al was diagnosed with sleep apnea after leaving the military; Pam went to the bedroom and replaced Al’s sleep pills with cyanide pills. She knew that every night before going to bed, Al took one vitamin and two sleep aides.
The evil visitor touched Pam’s again.
What if that doesn’t work?
At that moment Pam worked rapidly taking the mattress off the bed. She then rigging up a crossbow to a motion sensor and timer.
Thinking to herself.
When Al lay down after he takes his medicine, the crossbow would pierce him in the head when the time goes off.
And, if that doesn’t work?
Then I’ll think of something else.
Pam prepared dinner and set the table; Al didn’t show up for dinner until much later.
Al quietly entered the back door. He saw the table nicely prepared.
Sneaking through the living to get to the bedroom, he saw Pam staring out the window.
“You scared me honey. What are you doing up so late?”
“I was waiting for you.”
“The table looks great...I feel so bad.”
Ask him if he ate.
“Did you eat?”
“Yes, I ate at the diner.”
He probably had dinner with M-a-n-d-y.
Pam said nothing.
“I feel so bad. Had I known, I would have come home earlier.”
The demon followed Al into the bedroom.
Al changed into his pajamas, and picked up his pill bottle.
The demon rubbed his claws with great satisfaction.
With widen eyes, Pam watched from the other room.
Al took his vitamins and went to bed.
The vapor seething visitor flew into other room tapping Pam on the shoulder.
He didn’t take the poison.
Rats! No sleeping pills tonight. Ahhh!
Don’t worry, we still have tomorrow.
Pam waited until Al fell asleep then she went to bed. They both slept throughout the night. The next morning she eased out of the bed early before the timer ejected the crossbow.
Much later that morning, Al came out of the bedroom, stretching and yarning. Unknown to the demon or Pam that during the night God sent an angel to take apart the timer.
“Breakfast smells good; I am starved.”
Pam’s houseguest watched from the ceiling.
He’s still alive. What does it take to kill him?
“Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”
She pulled out their favorite coffee mugs and filled them with coffee. Pam poured poison into one of the coffee mugs.
Startle by Al’s entrance into the kitchen, Pam hid the poisonous container in her apron.
Al took Pam’s hands into his cupped hands.
Her houseguest came closer.
All lies. Don’t listen to him.
“Honey, sit down, I need to talk to you. I came home late last night because I was out breaking off a two-month affair. I don’t know what came over me. It was as if I was possessed. I prayed asking God to deliver me from that affair. And, he did."
Al fell to his knees. He put his head in Pam's lap and asked her to forgive him.
Pam kissed Al.
The demon tugged on Pam’s apron.
However, ignoring her houseguest and forgetting her previous plots to kill him. She then picked up a mug and took a sip, as did Al.
Pam died.
The demon shook his head.
Well, I got her angry enough to get revenge but I didn’t think she would kill herself. It doesn’t matter, a soul is a soul.
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I had some problems with the feasibility of the plot in places; are cyanide and poison and crossbows so readily available? And it seems improbable that the reconciliation would happen so quickly, and that she'd forget the poisoned mug. Unless you intended this as satire, perhaps?
The irony at the end is very wrenching and powerful.
I, too, had a bit of a problem with the plot line. I liked the direction you were going, but thought it got a little far-fetched.
Very good example of the proverb.
Laury
Keep writing good work.