Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)
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TITLE: Timely Confessions | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kori Philipp
01/04/08 -
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A young couple, Jerry and his wife JoAnne, came into my office one day seeking counsel. They had only been married a few short years, but already knew their marriage was in trouble.
It seems the night before their wedding Jerry had told JoAnne that he and the guys were going out for dinner. Jerry and JoAnne had made a pact early on in their relationship that alcohol was not going to be a part of their life together. JoAnne had grown up with an alcoholic father, so she did not want alcohol to be a part of her life as an adult. Jerry agreed and did not seem to be too interested in drinking anyway. But on the night before their wedding, while out with the guys, Jerry did drink. Before he knew it, he had consumed four beers and was on his fifth!
Jerry and JoAnne did not see each other that night, so Jerry had time to sleep it off. The guys agreed they would not tell, so all was well. They would just forget about it. The next day, the wedding went off without a hitch. (Well there was a hitch, but you get the pun). It was a storybook wedding and marriage. That was until a few years later when one of Jerry’s friends came to visit.
“Hey Jerry, did you ever tell JoAnne about what happened the night before your wedding, when you had a little too much to drink?”
“What!” JoAnne said shockingly as she abruptly planted her feet and stood up. It wasn’t hard to read her body language. She was clearly tense, while her eyes opened, doubling in size. She was livid! “How could you have kept this from me all of these years?”
JoAnne was hurt, and immediately she started to wonder what other secrets Jerry might be keeping.
That’s what brought them into my office.
I met with Jerry and JoAnne every Monday night for several weeks. We worked on the process of rebuilding trust in their relationship. I pointed out how God shows us in His Word that healing and reconciliation often begin with a confession. For example; if we want to be saved we must first confess that we are a sinner. If we seek forgiveness, 1 John 1:9 tells us that we must first, confess our sins. I continued to read to them the rest of the verse, about how God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (NIV)
I told Jerry I understood his unwillingness to tell JoAnne on their wedding day. I also told him that I understood why he was reluctant to tell her at all, because he didn’t want to disappoint her, so he chose to keep it a secret. But by doing so, and choosing not deal with it right away, I explained, had created a much bigger problem down the road in their marriage, resulting in broken trust and doubt.
Jerry and JoAnne both sat quietly, and then Jerry spoke.
“I should have told you,” he said softly, while turning to reach across the old wooden armchair in my office, which creaked as he leaned. Stretching out his hand in the direction of where JoAnne was sitting, he slowly looked up. Hoping to be able to meet her gaze in his eyes and soon grasp the warmth of the accepting hand of his wife, he waited for her response.
“I forgive you,” she said, as she wrapped her fingers around his hand.
Today, Jerry and JoAnne are celebrating 20 years of marriage. I talked to them recently and asked how they are doing? They said they are doing well and just last year had organized a marriage strengthening group in their area, where they are mentors.
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