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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Church (12/06/07)
“Beep, beep, beep”

Marcie hit the snooze button on her alarm clock. She pulled her covers up under her chin and turned over trying to avoid the thought of getting out of bed.

'Do I really need to go to church this morning?'

It was easy for Marcie’s thoughts to justify staying in her warm bed on such a chilly morning.

'I mean I am a Christian, I am right with God. I don’t really need to go to church. Maybe I can just download a sermon on my laptop and watch a church service on my computer. Yea, that sounds good, my warm bed is just so….warm. Ok, in ten minutes I am getting up and getting my laptop and I will have my own little church right here in bed.'

“Beep, beep, beep”

'Gosh, has it been ten minutes already? Ok, ok I’m going.'

Marcie crawled out of bed, stood up into her fuzzy, pink slippers, and stumbled into the kitchen. She grabbed her laptop and a cup of coffee off the kitchen counter and hurried right back to her bed to crawl right back under her covers. Half sitting up, she turned on her laptop and sipped her coffee as she waited for the sermon to download. After a few minutes, she was able to watch and listen to a church service via the internet.

'Ahhh this is the life.'

Marice’s tried to focus her tired eyes on the computer screen.

'Wow, the internet is so great. I can sit here in my PJ’s, under my covers and have my own little church service right in bed. Why don’t I do this every week?'

Marcie dozed in and out, half paying attention to the service on her computer. When the service concluded, she turned off her computer and went back to sleep.

“Knock, knock anyone home?”

Marcie’s eyes popped open as she heard her front door squeak open

“Mom, is that you?”

Marcie hollered as she jumped out of bed and threw on some clothes.

“I’ll be right there.”

Marcie fluffed her hair a bit as she walked down the hall trying to avoid the ‘I just got out of bed’ look.

“Good morning sleepyhead”

Marcie’s mom smiled warmly as she set a plate of brownies on the table and shed her coat.

“I missed you at church today so I thought I would drop by. I thought maybe we could have a brownie and some coffee together. I just have about twenty minutes before I need to scoot but I wanted to see you.”

Instantly, Marcie felt that warm, familiar connection of touch and love as her mom gave her a nice genuine squeeze of affection.

“I missed you too mom. How was church today?”

Marcie poured two cups of coffee and joined her mom at the little round kitchen table.

“The service was real nice today. Pastor Doug delivered a powerful message on forgiveness. I, for one, experienced a lot of genuine ministry today. Several people went to the front of church for prayer. It really blessed me to be able to put my arms around a friend and pray with her knowing that I too had been through a similar circumstance where it was so hard to forgive. I believe she was encouraged.

Marcie’s eyes were fixed on her mom as she shared about the church service.

“Wow mom, I really wish I would have made it to church today. I did watch a service online but somehow, it’s just not the same as being there. In fact, I didn’t realize until just now how much I missed being at church today I will be sure to make it next week.”


(*Author’s disclaimer: This is not intended to put down church services that are available to watch over the internet. I see the Internet as a great ministry tool in a lot of ways. This was simply another angle of how easy it is to isolate ourselves from other believers because of tools we have such as the Internet.)
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 965 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
LaNaye Perkins
12/16/07
This story holds a powerful message. You did a fine job on writing it. Keep writing!
Joanne Sher 
12/17/07
Definitely much to ponder here - and nicely written. The mom's dialog seemed a tad unnatural, but it could be me. Enjoyed the revelation she came to - and all the little details that made this feel real.
Jan Ackerson
12/17/07
Thought-provoking story!

In my opinion, it's best to avoid words for sounds (like beep or knock, as they tend to make the writing sound "young." It's more effective to write something along the line of

The sound of the alarm startled Marcie, and she hit the snooze button...

Purely personal preference, though!
Yvonne Blake 
12/17/07
Good message!
I like the dialogue and descriptions.
Be careful with softened exclamations such as 'Gosh'. To me, it is a form of using the Lord's name.
There are few missing commas.
Good writing.
Catrina Bradley
12/19/07
Great writing, great message. I went through a long time of too many Sundays of church in my pj's, but am glad I'm back in "literal" church now. Your story is filled with Truth. Wonderful work!
Temple Miller
12/19/07
I can relate. Times when I have been a little ill, not real sick, and stayed at home, I always miss the encouragement and lift, worshiping with the church gives me. Good story.
Sara Harricharan
12/20/07
This was very interesting with the contrast between an actual sermon or one via internet. I liked this. It did show a difference. I would've liked to read a little more to see if she went next week...tired, sleepyhead and all. ^_^ Nice job.
TJ Nickel
12/27/07
I liked this one and can recognize talent in the speaker. I did think it became too obvious in the end and wished the disclaimer to disappear, but nice concept and entry.