Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)
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TITLE: A Changed Life | Previous Challenge Entry
By Cheryl Flatt
11/01/07 -
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One morning I heard singing coming from the school. Normally, the guards chased us away from the school buildings, but today there were no guards around; it was Sunday. So I went and sat down under one of the windows. The singing reminded me of my grandmother; it was cheerful, happy music about Jesus. When the singing stopped a lady began to speak.
She spoke in a way that was strange to my ears, and I really wanted to see what she looked like. But I was afraid that if someone saw me they’d chase me away. So I sat still in a spot of sunshine under the window and listened. She spoke of when she was a little girl and how afraid she was of death and being left alone. When she talked about her grandmother dying and how lonely and sad it had made her, the tears began to fall down my face. She said that Jesus had taken away her fear of death. I left my spot under the window and stood in the doorway. This lady with funny, red curly hair said that there was a way to know for sure that when you die you will go to heaven to be with Jesus.
That day I learn about Jesus, about my sins that kept me separated from him, about his sacrifice and salvation. That first Sunday school became the first day of my new life. Hope replaced despair; strangers became family; and God became real to me. A strange lady from Scotland became my teacher and friend. Her simple, personal story became the connection that I needed to bring understanding and clarity to my dark world. So invite the children of the world into Sunday schools in whatever community you live in. Open the doors; walk the street; go to the children and tell the stories of Jesus. You never know what a difference one saved life can make in this world.
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I'm not sure if word count "got you" or not, but I'd like to see this expanded to tell more of the main character's early childhood. I also don't think you needed that last sentence. It kind of broke the flow you had going.
Great job overall, and a great story. Keep writing!
I wish you could have expanded this more and told us/showed us more about this little girl. What a story she has to tell.
Good job! :-) Hugs!!