The Official Writing Challenge
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An interesting retelling of the baptism of Jesus, and an enjoyable read. Good Job!
This is a great story and I loved the idea of putting oneself into a true account from the New Testament. Good job!
I enjoyed the POV very much.

Your characters seemed to use a lot of modern idioms--a bit disorienting.

I enjoy "refreshed" Bible stories.
This is a good accounting of a story of John. Some of the scripture was quoted as if the child was speaking and it seemed unlike what a child would say. But, that is easy to correct. Good story about baptism.
I really enjoyed this sweet story!
Nice retelling of the story of John baptizing Jesus and others as seen from the eyes of the children. I was curious, though, as to whether the children really understood what was happening to them when they were baptized, as there was no real explanation given to them. It does say they had repented, so maybe their dad gave them some quick instruction! :)