The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good thoughts here. The paragraphs need to be separated however. When submitting to the challenge, indentations do not take. Thats why we're requested to put a space between each paragraph - it helps with the reading. I'm not sure, but it may take away some of our point value to not have these spaces. But keep trying. There is good thinking here and I especially liked the phrase "we all looked like a bunch of honey bees feverishly searching for the right flower to pollinate".
You made some very good observations here and I can hear your sincerity in your writing. I agree with the previous posters and I think you did a good job.