The Official Writing Challenge
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Very powerful story. I'm sure you have a very vivid picture of what you were trying to have your characters say, but I will admit that I got a little lost in the various "memories" and just who was speaking, but maybe that's just me, and since no one else has commented, I don't know for sure. :o)

There were just a few grammatical things that needed fixing and a couple of spelling errors, but I think with just a little editing and tweaking so we know who is speaking, this will be a fine story. I hope to see more entries from you.
I, too, was a bit confused with the meaning of some of the memories and with who was speaking at times. Making this clearer would have helped a lot. You did have some vivid descriptive words and phrases, such as, "He feared God's hand like a viper in his daughter's crib," and "Heaven's joy filled the empitiness of his soul." Keep writing!
A good title, and quite a story. This was pretty interesting reading. Good dialouge, a little confusing as to who was who at times, but otherwise pretty interesting. I liked that Helena came out of the coma at the end.
I had a problem with reading and staying focused on who was who in the memories.
I'm not an expert. But I felt like I was not seeing the whole picture.
Sorta like something was being left out. I had to try and figure out where the story was going. Other wise it was a good story.
God bless.