The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very cute twist at the end, and a good job on realistic dialog. Having the football player approach the dad right in class is perhaps a bit "pat" and unrealistic...maybe have him ask the dad if they can talk, and leave your reader to draw the conclusion? Sweet story.
Great story and delightful ending. Needs some editing, but keep up the good work!
A very enjoyable read, and I chuckled at the end becasue you 'got' me. I agree with Jan about the footballer, but I did enjoy it overall.
Oh, what a cute story! I loved the way you developed the characters with the dialog, and I really enjoyed the ending. Nice work!
I truly enjoyed the story. I shared with the characters, and appreciated the flow of the dialogue and thoughts. I of course enjoyed the follow-through at the end. I agree with the previous posts and would like to add thank you for a good story.
This was a very nice story. It brought a smile to my face, as well. Great job!