TITLE: The River By Durelle Rutledge 09/10/06 |
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“Nooo! This can’t be happening! I told you I didn’t want to! You said it would be safe! You said it would be all right!”
“Honey, just calm down. Put your head between your legs and breathe slowly.”
“Calm down? Calm down! You calm down! Don’t tell me to calm down. I won’t calm down! I…”
He put his head down and pushed Carol’s down and held it there. She fought to sit back up and h fought to keep it down. The plane bucked and rolled and tossed in the storm. All he could think about was the week before when he had won the plane tickets at work. It had been so long since they had had a vacation and here was the perfect opportunity! He knew Carol was deathly afraid of flying but he wasn’t about to lose this golden opportunity dropped in his lap! His thoughts continued back to the previous week. Nagging, begging, pleading, whatever it took! Until, she finally gave in. He remembered how ecstatic he had been. Finally, he could get away! Finally, no deadlines, no bottom lines, no worries! He had only been thinking of himself! How could he have been no selfish? How could he have been so thoughtless?
Carol the love of his life! The one person that had been behind him, no matter what! Whether he had been up or down, failed or succeeded, in good times or bad. She had never once complained. Never said a critical word! She was the reason why he’d made it this far! And he knew it!
Chapter Two
The plane began to descend and Carol let out a long heart-wrenching wail.
His heart broke. He wanted to do anything he could to make this go away. He wished he could turn back time and just be happy with her, the way things were! Oh, how he would do things differently!
The plane pitched and rolled even harder and suddenly picked up speed. He knew they were going to crash and crash hard! He had never been a religious man and hadn’t believed in prayer. His mother had been religious and so had his father. But that didn’t stop his mother from dying of cancer. But right now, he wondered if God would hear his prayers. He didn’t want to pray for himself. He only wanted Carol to be okay. God, how he hoped (and prayed) that she would be all right!
“Oooh, my head hurts!” Where was he? What had happened? Suddenly he remembered!
“Carol!” She wasn’t in her seat! He must’ve let go of her when the plane crashed! He couldn’t remember and it was hard to think through the pain in his head. He fumbled with the lock on his seatbelt. His hands were shaking.
“Is everybody all right?” One of the flight attendants asked as she stumbled down the aisle, stopping to check passengers for injuries. “Is there a doctor on board? Any medical personnel?” Matthew stopped her as she passed. “My wife, have you seen my wife? She was right here and now she’s gone. Where is she? Where’s Carol!” “I don’t know, sir”, she said pulling his hand from her arm. “I’ve got to check the rest of the passengers that’s left.” She continued on down the aisle. “….that’s left” rang in his mind. …that’s left?
Chapter Three
He looked around and realized he was sitting in only a portion of the plane. Where was the rest of it? He rose from his seat in a hurry to find Carol and almost fell over debris in the aisle. He worked his way forward checking all the seats. He didn’t find her. He backtracked and started looking in all the seats behind his and Carol’s. About six rows back he found her.
She was half in and half out of the window. He stood there for a second, frozen in shock. He scrambled over the seats to get to her. “God please let her be alive!” He reached for her hand, it felt cold but still he refused to give up hope. He reached for her waist to pull her inside. As he pulled he realized she wasn’t moving. She was caught on something. “It must be her blouse or sweater or something”, he thought. His mind wouldn’t let him think past the obvious. But soon, he couldn’t deny the truth. He let out a moan, that came all the way from his soul! He gently lifted her from the glass she was impaled on and held her in his arms. He sat there rocking and crying, he didn’t know how long. It didn’t matter, she was gone.
Suddenly, he felt suffocated and knew he had to get outside to breathe. But he couldn’t leave Carol inside, alone. So he lifted her in his arms and carried her outside with him. He knelt as he laid her on the ground. Then he looked up at the sky and asked in an agonized voice, “Why? Why her and not me? Is this punishment for me, for all the stuff I did wrong? I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he moaned, “Give her back, give her back to me! You should have taken me, not her!” he yelled, shaking his fist at the sky. “She didn’t deserve to die!” he cried as he collapsed over her body.
He arose from Carol’s body and smoothed the hair from her face. He looked her lovingly as he cradled her head on his arm. He sat there, talking to her. Telling her how sorry he was that he hadn’t loved her more, appreciated her more and shown it more often.
Chapter Four
Meanwhile, Sheila the flight attendant and some of the passengers were debating removing the dead from each section of the plane.
“I know it sounds a bit morbid, but I think it would be wise, just in case there may be any wild animals in the area. We don’t know where we are and I don’t think we should take any chances. If there are any, they might be more likely to go after the bodies before coming after us. And we don’t know how long it might be before we’re rescued. It’s a matter of survival!”
“That may be true”, said Hal, a medic from Scranton, Ohio. “But I’m just as sure that their family members and friends are not going to want to be separated from them. And definitely are not going to volunteer t use them as “bait” for wild animals!”
“Well, we’re just going to have to convince them! Just may turn out to be a case of “them or us!”
“Well, good luck with that! I’m not going to be a part of talking those people into something like that!”
“Suit yourself! There’re others that agree with me and one way or another we’ll get the job done!”
Sheila and some of the other passengers did manage to remove the deceased from the different parts of the plane, amidst the arguments and pleas from their family and friends. Then they came to Matthew.
“Son, we’re going to need to move your wife, down there with the other bodies” said a minister from among the group.
“What? What are you talking about move her!” Matthew said, coming up slowly out of his reverie of despair.
“We’re moving all the bodies down there” said the minister pointing to where the other bodies lay. “We need to move them in case of wild animals. You can sit down there with her for a while if you like. But its getting dark soon and we’ll all need to be inside in the largest part of the plane to band together in case there are any attacks. And besides it makes it easier to look out for each other if we’re all in one place.” finished Sheila trying to sound convincing.
“No, no one is moving her! Leave her alone! Can’t you see she’s dead! She’s dead! And it’s all my fault! Go away and leave us both alone!”
Matthew turned back to Carol and continued stroking her hair and mumbling, “So cold, so cold!”
One of the men in the group with Sheila and the minister asked, “Should I try to find a jacket or a coat for him?”
“No” answered Minister Patry, “He’s not talking about himself. I think he’s in shock or at least headed that way. The best thing we can do for him right now is try to get him inside and get some sort of alcoholic drink into him. Maybe get him to lay down, if we can.”
Chapter Five
Separating Matthew from Carol was no mean feat. But they finally managed to get him inside the plane and placed him in his seat. Sheila had suggested that each passenger (that could) return to their assigned seats so that it would be easier to use the passenger manifest to track everyone. One of the women came forward with a miniature bottle of brandy in her hand.
“I found this in the galley. It’s still pretty much intact. My mother says brandy cures all ills.” She added with a weak smile.
“This will do nicely.” Replied Minister Patry, smiling encouragingly. “Here…” He stopped and turned to Sheila. “What’s his name?” Sheila consults the manifest, scanning the list for Matthew ‘s seat number. “Oh, here it is” she said looking up again, “It’s Matthew, Matthew Hartley.”
“Okay, Matthew, I need you to drink this”. He placed the bottle to Matthew’s lips. Matthew slowly took a few sips as if he were on autopilot. He barely even noticed the liquid flowing down his throat and beginning to warm him on the inside.
“That’s good! That’s good, son. It’s going to make you feel a lot better. Okay, on to the next one. I think he’ll be okay in a little while. Or rather, as “okay” as he can be under the circumstances!”
So they left Matthew sitting dazedly in his seat and went on to check on and care for the other passengers that needed their attention.
As Matthew sat in his seat staring blankly into space, he began to doze. And if anyone had asked him, he would have told them that he hadn’t thought it possible. But sleep he did. And as he slept, he dreamed. He dreamt he saw Carol. She was standing on a golden river, which flowed upward, toward what even he recognized to be heaven. In his dream he ran toward her calling her name but he couldn’t seem to close the gap between them. She just kept getting farther and farther away. He called her name once more, softly, and she turned towards him and smiled and said, “Matthew, I will always love you. Remember that.” Then she was gone. And there was a stillness filled with peace. He stood looking after her, willing her to come back to him.
Out of the stillness came a voice that seem to be all around him and filled with such love! A love so warm and so strong, like nothing he had ever felt before! The voice said to him, “My son, she was ready”. And then once again all was still.
In his sleep he cried silent tears.
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