TITLE: The Progression of Loss: A Year in the Life of a Grieving Heart By LaRae Lacrosse 02/04/11 |
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There is apprehension...
The voice of someone who cares for me
“Are you alone?”
There is fear...
Words spoken in trembling voice
An incomprehensible message
Broken hearts... two... five... more
There is pain...
Frantic cries for clarification
Are you with her now?
I don’t understand
There is disbelief...
Calls are made
Friends arrive
A soothing voice of gentle reason
There is calm...
Compassionate hands are extended
Food, embraces, cards, tears... more food
The burden of sorrow is shared
There is comfort...
Details: music, pictures, words, clothing, flowers
Family from far away
Memories
There is laughter...
A morning awakening
Steadfast determination to will it all away
I will meet my daughter at the airport
We will go Christmas shopping
All will be as it was... before
There is denial...
A great gathering
Songs are sung
Words are spoken
Memories shared
We, and She, are loved
There is joy...
Life resumes
A strangely hollow life
Frequent calls and coffee-dates
Needed kindnesses
There is love...
Chance encounters with strangers
Small talk
“Do you have children?”
A pause
The light of recognition
An odd kinship
Parents who have lost
Now incomplete
There is understanding...
A slow dawning of the truth
Hungry pain re-awakens
Why, God?
There is anger...
Reasons is sought
Blame is levied
Unanswerable questions
Why didn’t I...?
Why didn’t he... they...?
Why didn’t she...?
There is accusation...
A vision in a sleep-scattered night
Great drifts of soft, white snow
A midwife’s laughing voice,
“It would be best if this one didn’t survive.”
“This one doesn’t belong.”
There is confusion...
An enormous blue heron glides overhead
On silent, scarlet wings
Snowflakes swirl and dip in the intricate choreographed dance of starlings
Whispering and giggling in the stillness as they chase about my head
There is wonder...
A great clipper ship with silver sails billowing
Scudding across a sherbet sea
I look for her behind every sunrise
Somehow, she is there
In the sunrise
There is longing...
Thoughts of my wandering child who knew no strangers
Thoughts of my restless young woman, always moving, searching, running?
Never content to just be
Perhaps she has found where she belongs
There is peace...
Christmas
New Year
Birthdays
Easter
Mother’s Day
Father’s Day
Engagements
A Wedding
Thanksgiving
The year marches on
There is life...
Another Christmas
“Unto us a Child is born”
“Unto us a Son is given”
Impossible promises are made
Healing for the broken
Gladness for the sorrowful
Freedom for the captive
Grace for the sinner
There is forgiveness...
Fine art
Jewelry
Gifts to be kept and treasured, displayed
Wine
Chocolate
Fresh-cut flowers
Gifts best treasured when they are shared and enjoyed
A laughing, green-eyed girl-child
My gift to treasure, share and enjoy for twenty-two years
There is thanksgiving...
Heaven lies ahead
A distant place, though closer now
Eternity is, has always been
Reunion
Restoration
Renewal
Unspeakable abundant joy
There is anticipation...
There is... HOPE...
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