TITLE: It was Just a Tennis Ball
By lauren finchum
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Seven days ago I beat the senior pastor in tennis, now no one will talk to me.
I didn’t mean to beat him, really, I didn’t. Ok, maybe I did mean to beat him, but only just for the sport. I mean, it’s not like I have anything against the guy, but ever since I whizzed that neon yellow ball past him for the match point, I’ve been treated like a leper.
I mean, come on! It’s just a stupid game!
The pastor himself congratulated me on my win and said I was a great player, and could tell he was being genuine. But the church folk—oh, my gosh. They look at me like I cut the pastor’s arm off, not beat him in one charity game of tennis at the local park.
I feel like I’ve committed treason or something. I’m so glad I live in the 21st century right now, lest the congregation send me to the chop-block. Just call me Anne Boleyn.
Yesterday at the Winn-Dixie, Maple Sanders glared at me when I waved at her. I mean, dear lord, the bag of chocolate chips in my hand melted as she peered at me with The Look of Death.
The day before that, Dan Blacks cut me off in the Wal-Mart parking lot to make sure he took the space I was waiting for. Even though he walks with a cane, and the space was at the complete far end of the lot.
And, today, Amy Lewis was at the table behind me at Wendy’s and sneered a laugh when I took a bite of my burger and found no meat. She said it served me right after embarrassing the pastor. Finally, tonight, after the Wednesday night service, I went to the bathroom to do my, um, business, and I heard two women who didn’t now I was in a stall. They started talking about the tennis match. One told the other I call the pastor a “lame-butt loser”.
I did no such thing!
Now, half the church is try to get me replaced in the morning service praise team slot. I mean, I just want to sing and worship. I didn’t know people could make you pay a price for such trivial things.
All I know to do it let it all roll and hope this blows over soon. But I must say, when a group of church people claiming to show God’s love get this bent over a freakin’ game, maybe we need to reevaluate what God’s love mean to us.
“I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving the Lord, but their own appetites.” Romans16:17-18 NIV
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