TITLE: Mama Should Have Listened By Joanne Counts 06/01/05 |
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Mama Should Have Listened
Boyfriend: Come on baby, you know you want to be with me.
Mary: But I can't, I'm not ready for sex yet.
Boyfriend: But if you love me you know you'll do this for me.
Mary: I love you too, but I just can't.
Boyfriend: Everybody else is doing it, and you know I love you baby.
Mary: I can't, I just can't, I gotta go.
Mama at home eating chips, drinking Pepsi and watching All My Children.
Daughter Mary comes in.
Mary: Mama I need to talk to you. "IT'S REAL IMPORTANT".
Mama: Girl, don't you see I'm watching my stories.
Mary: But Mama;
Mama: But Mama nothing, don't you see what's on that TV. I'm watching All My Children and you know nothing is more important from 1-2 everyday than All My Children. And everyday one of you fools come in here talking about Mama this and Mama that.
Mary: But Mama;
Mama: You better Mama your butt out of here before I kick it out of here.
MAMA SHOULD HAVE LISTENED
Young son Ricky running with the wrong crowd.
Boy #1: Hey man, look at your clothes and those Payless shoes.
Boy #2: Yeah man, don't you want to get paid like us? Your gear is whack.
Ricky: What would I have to do?
Boy #1: Nothing much, just sell a little weed and maybe a little crack.
Ricky: Crack? I don't want nothing to do with any crack.
Boy #2: Don't get so excited, you don't have to sell crack at first, just weed.
Ricky: I don't think I want to sell anything.
Boy #2: (Puts a gun to Ricky's head) I suggest you think about that long and hard.
Mama watching Dr. Phil on TV.
Ricky: Mama, I need to talk to you. "IT'S REAL IMPORTANT".
Mama: Boy, don't you see I'm watching TV.
Ricky: But Mama;
Mama: But Mama nothing. Can't you see I'm watching Dr. Phil? You know I watch Dr. Phil the same time everyday.
Ricky: But I have a problem.
Mama: Who doesn't have problems? All my crazy kids got problems. I know what, why don't you call Dr. Phil with your problem?
MAMA "REALLY" SHOULD HAVE LISTENED
Mama and her man watching American Idol. Young daughter Michelle comes in.
Michelle: Mama, I need to talk to you. "IT'S REAL IMPORTANT".
Mama: What could be more important than me, my man and American Idol. That Simon is a hoot.
Michelle: Jesus, Mama, Jesus. That's who's more important. I need a ride to church. Yolanda Adams is going to be there.
Mama: Yolanda who?
Michelle: Yolanda Adams, she's the best gospel singer in the world.
Mama: Please, you need to be listening to R. Kelly or better yet Usher. That Usher sure can move that body, almost as good as my man.
Michelle: But Mama;
Mama: But Mama nothing, tell Jesus to come pick you up, just leave me alone.
MAMA SHOULD HAVE LISTENED. IT'S NOW 3 MONTHS LATER.
Daughter Mary comes in, obviously pregnant. Mama is of course, watching TV.
Mama: Girl, I can't believe you went out and got yourself pregnant. Didn't I teach you any better than that?
Do you think I have money to take care of your baby?
Mary: Babies, Mama, babies, I'm having twins.
Mama: Twins! Twins! Two more mouths to feed. I just can't believe it, get out of my face.
Suddenly you hear Yolanda Adams singing The Battle Is The Lords.
Mama: Who in the world is that making all that noise?
Michelle: That's not noise Mama, that's Yolanda Adams. I told you she's the best gospel singer in the world.
Mama: Please, she don't know nothing about no gospel. Now that little Kirk Franklin, he got it going on. They play his music in the clubs, you can dance to his music.
Michelle: But Mama, do you ever listen to what Kirk Franklin is saying?
Mama: No girl, I just like the music.
Michelle: Mama, I wish you would go to church and get to know and love Jesus.
Mama: Girl I don't need to go to church, you love Jesus enough for the both of us.
Suddenly there's a loud knock at the door. It's the police.
Policeman: Ma'am, I'm sorry to tell you but your son has been shot by some drug dealers. He's dead.
Mama: Oh Lord Jesus help me, my baby is dead. Jesus, help me. Why God why?
A moderator steps in to say;
Notice that as bad a parent Mama is, the first and only person she's calling when there's trouble is Jesus.
We hope none of you have a parent as bad and uncaring as Mama, but just like Mama, we want you to know you can always call on Jesus. Jesus should always be first and foremost in your life.
And if you can't talk to your parents about your problems know that there is always an adult right here at this church willing to help you. And prayerfully, we won't judge you. Just know that Jesus loves you and so do we.
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