Christian Living
As far as pastimes go, “drawing lines” probably doesn’t rank on many people’s “to do” list. In fact, “drawing lines”, as in establishing boundaries for ourselves and for our children, seems to have a connotation of severity that many folks feel too narrow-minded and/or judgmental. On the other hand, I suggest that a failure to learn how to appropriately establish boundaries by which we stand in our habits, activities, and attitudes is essentially the equivalent of relational suicide in our homes and families. Without such wisely appointed boundaries, relationships, no matter how intimate, will suffer the devastation of disappointment and broken trust, as individuals either “use” others or are “used” by others in patterns of presumption. Without setting boundaries for ourselves as a people we are also committing a kind of societal homicide in which our lack of respect for God and other people escalates “reactive measures” as we are forced to legislate rules and laws which aren’t necessary when people are simply committed to doing things God’s way anyway.
People who cannot perceive the need for personal boundaries and do not instruct their children in how to constructively establish, evaluate, and maintain personal boundaries will reap a harvest of heartache and disappointment.
I think that one very strong reason that people have an innate distaste for drawing boundaries by which we determine how we will invest our time, energy, and affections is that we believe in our own innate goodness and assume that we have a sort of intrinsic spiritual wisdom inherent in our psychological make-up.
But human nature really isn’t as benevolent in essence as we would like to believe to which human history attests. And in reviewing how God has historically interacted with people throughout time, we see that some boundaries actually have divine order behind them. For example, even as God sent His people back into a land that He had given their ancestor over 400 years earlier, He drove out of the land of Canaan peoples who had geographical boundaries but no moral boundaries whatsoever, practicing the evil work of “passing their children through the fires of Molech” (a kind of human sacrifice involving their own babies being burned alive as offerings to pagan gods that they worshiped), and temple prostitution by which the “gods” vicariously had relations with worshipers in their temples.
As His people were sent into the land to take ownership of it as God had intended, just as important (if not more so) than the physical allotments being made (although they too were guided by God) were the spiritual, moral, and social boundaries given them by the One Who had delivered them from their bondage in Egypt.
In Exodus 20, verses 1 through 17, and reiterated in Deuteronomy 5, verses 7 through 21, God gives His people ten basic principles that would shape their personal assessments of right and wrong, the ways in which they must structure their familial relationships, and the laws that would govern their society. Worshiping no other gods, refusing to participate in idolatry, treating God’s name with reverence and awe, keeping a Sabbath day set aside to honor God, honoring our fathers and mothers, not committing murder or adultery or stealing, and neither lying or coveting the things of other people were very specific boundaries that were relevant then and are relevant now: even today they should serve as boundaries for Christians.
Frankly, I don’t think we merely fudge on these Ten Commandments; we blatantly defy them. It’s bad enough for folks to live life morally without an anchor if they’ve not had opportunity to learn that there IS an anchor on which they may depend. But what should be especially troubling and indeed heartbreaking to us as Christians today is that we don’t seem to see the relevance of God’s Law for our own lives. Some say, “But we don’t live according to the Law, but by grace.” And they’re quite right. But what escapes them is that the essence of God in the New Testament is consistent with His essence in the Old. And while we do truly live by the grace of God (by which we mean “unmerited favor”), those Ten Commandments are essential moral codes for navigating life today.
Some time ago, I was involved in a conversation about the “over sexualization” of teens and preteens. Much was said about the various social factors fomenting it. On the one hand, it was observed that our culture is absolutely SATURATED with sexually confusing and explicit information, and that our children are caught in the crossfire. I almost agree but believe that the truth is far more heinous than that: our children are actually TARGETED by selfish and evil-minded companies looking to attract younger customers to “exciting and cool” products.
Then, on the other hand, it was stated that, while the other observation is true, the “blame”, as it were, falls back on us parents who may think that making sex symbols of children is “cute”. We are also guilty this spiral into immorality when we are pushovers when it comes to drawing lines for our children and then sticking by them (in movies, music, television show, un-chaperoned or poorly supervised teen events). Can one see why God gave us Ten Commandments in the first place? In addition to lifting us up out of natural instincts into a mindset more like His, He also gives us “boundaries” that move us collectively towards a greater corporate good and allow for higher personal happiness.
One of the greatest things that God has done for humanity is the giving of boundaries for our lives. One of the greatest things that you and I can do as His children is to observe them and yield to His loving authority, remembering that the reason Jesus came to earth in the first place was to restore the heart of humanity to a position of desiring to live peaceably within God’s boundaries (one “must be born again” – see John 3:3). And one of the greatest things that parents can do for their children today is to lovingly establish and gracefully enforce boundaries for their children so that they may learn and benefit from the love and wisdom of those who are their mothers and fathers.
Let us stop and catch our breath. Let’s pause and think for a moment before we get sucked into all the hyperactivity of spring and summer. Let us think about how we need boundaries for life (yes… even grownups need boundaries). We need boundaries in our relationships. We need boundaries in our spending. We need boundaries for our time and our pursuits. We need boundaries for our families. And we need boundaries spiritually speaking so that we may remember why we were put here in the first place… to love God with all that we are.
“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise…. When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the LORD our God has commanded you?’ then you shall say to your son, ‘We were.. slaves... And the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand…. The LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as we are this day” (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, 20-21, 24 ESV).
It is time that we reconsider how God’s ways aid us in maintaining healthy priorities; teach us to discern what is holy and lovely versus what is ugly and common; and give us standards for life that allow us to live lives with an abundance of joy and peace which God Himself created for those who love and serve Him.
Copyright © Thom Mollohan.
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