Testimonies
Today was a good day. It was one of those kinds of days when you can actually see the possibility of the things of life evening out a bit; the kind of day where your level of worry doesn't seem to be as high for some reason. I was simply able to enjoy my day without worrying too terribly much. on these kinds of days, my thinking is clearer and it is easier for me to view the blessings in my life a little better...
My husband, Andrew, seeing that I had not had much sleep and not much of a break , took my three year old Jeremy for the afternoon to Goldstream Park to walk the trails and then to Butterfly World; one of Jeremy's favorite places...
While they were gone, I sat in my living room for a little while and just soaked up the silence, and I started thinking back to the time before I met Andrew; a time when I fought major rounds with depression. There were times when I couldn't even come out of my room, couldn't even wash or dress myself. Part of my depression was the lonely kind of life I led. I dreamed of meeting someone one day; of getting married and having a child, but it all seemed so far away and so impossible.
As I just sat there in the chair in the living room and let my eyes look at the things in our house...at our wedding pictures on the wall and the mantelpiece, at the camellia bush just blooming outside the living room window, the hum of the fish tank in the kitchen...and I let the awareness of all the blessings I have been given in my life just sink in, and I can't explain really the great peace that washed over me. It was such a comfortable peace that I didn't want it to go away...
What an incredible thing to have stuck it out; to have not let the dimmest bit of the dreams I had for myself ever completely die. So often I wanted to give up on life. I just didn't see how it could or would all work out. I was sure I was a mistake, but there was the still, small voice I always clung to and, God did indeed gather all my broken dreams and gave me all I had dreamed for and more; a gentle, kind and caring husband who sees me first with his heart, who encourages me on by example of faith in his own life, who takes care of my heart as well as my person; a little boy with a bright imagination who loves the ocean and play dough and making up stories and holding my hair as he sleep. Now I have it all. Not much money, but oh, things of so much more value. I want other people to know that God works miracles, that He does give joy...that things can get better. I have, indeed, been given much, and it's all because God did the leading and the choosing in the direction of my life.
Many people in the world today are looking for a miracle in their own lives regarding love security. For everyone, it is only a matter of letting God do the leading; letting Him choose the time and place when dreams come true, and then it all falls in to place. And when it does, life will come together in harmony with real happiness.
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