Christian Living
"Keeping It Real"
http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Pam-McCabe/Mother-and-Son-Print-C10055682.jpeg
It should be a joy to give. It warms the heart of most people to give something to another human being. It can fill the heart to the brim to see that an effort we made toward someone's life to help them has, indeed, helped them.
As parents we are called upon to be givers every day and in much more profound ways. Children begin needing from the time they are born. Human babies are the most helpless of all creation's young. They need to be fed, they need to be clean, they need to be warm...most of all they need to be loved, and the needing of a child never stops. Yes, often young adults will need financial help at some point. But the need for unconditional love and acceptance and the gift of time and energy to be given by parents will go on for as long as the parent's life lasts. It is a job that should never be viewed by parents to be "done" when a child becomes an adult. The giving of a parent's time and whole self is the giving that matters the most to a child where parents are concerned. Parents should be available to their children always. The needs of the parent should never be put over the needs of their children. Especially emotional needs. Is that fair? Absolutely. Is it a sacrifice? Of course it is. Our children did not ask to be here. They are here because they have been given as a gift and should be viewed and treated with the utmost respect and devotion. It is we who owe them. It is not they who owe us. If we have gone through hills and valleys of despair over them or have helped them out of messes countless numbers of times, we were doing what we should have done and it should not be seen to be something that should be repayed. Does this mean we shouldn't seek a quiet corner now and then? Of course not...We're supposed to rest to keep our strength...ss long as we make sure that we have taken care of the needs of our children and families first. If we give , in essence, the outer edges of ourselves to our children and deem ourselves more important than spending time and energy on them unfailingly and gladly, it is not real giving. And the child will know it is not from the heart, which could ultimately cause great insecurity and lack of self-worth. When we give something and there is no real effort or cost to us, we have not really given anything of importance at all.
Yes, life is tiring...it is for us all...both mentally and physically, but even though we are tired and just want the bliss of solitude, we should always, always be available to listen and to nurture especially our children and families. People in general, and especially children have "sincerity monitors". Most of us can tell when the motives and efforts of others are real or not. In regards to children, the act of the giving of the parent should be seen to be real always. Parents should be the one constant rock in a child's life. Children are a gift from God. They are entrusted to our care for life. Parents were meant to be not only guides for their children on their life journey but, more importantly, they were meant to be the shoulder to always be able to lean on. The shoulder should always be available...even when we feel we haven't got the strength to offer it one more time. The world is harsh enough and people distant and "unreal" enough without having the safe haven of total acceptance and availability and the sincerity of the love of our parents.
I truly do not believe that life should be all about "me, me, me" and what "I" "need, need, need"...Where's the honor or the meaning in that? Where's the glory in coming to the end of your life having spent it wrapped up in the tight little package of "Self"? Giving...whether it is to our children or to others in our families or our outer circles, should be always be seen to be sincere and straight from the heart with no thought of repayment or praise; otherwise we haven't given a thing of importance. We've just, in essence, thrown a handful of "crumbs to the sparrows" is all..
When my child is grown and all is said and done, I want him to look back on his childhood and his relationship to me and to my husband and say with gratitude and love in his own heart, "I knew my mom and dad had to be so tired at the end of the day, but my daddy played with me and my mom rocked me and read to me anyway. They put me first and I knew I was loved because I saw it every day." If I can hear my child say that...man, oh man, will it all have been worth it. What a torment that would be to me to see my child as a grown man who had to struggle most of the way on his own because he couldn't find the shoulder he needed most at the times he needed it because I was too busy off taking care of myself. With God's Grace and strength for each new day to try my best at this parenting thing, I hope not to have to view that scenerio.
Does this mean I have it down PAT? Does it mean I am under the delusion I am a perfect mom? Nope...it's a struggle to be sure, to think outside of "Me". But I'll not give up the effort because I owe my family and especially my baby boy, my time and my effort. Life's a killer sometimes. And sure, I want to just curl up in a ball sometimes. But how would that benefit either me or my child? I would miss so many blessings and happy times. Life's too short to sleep it away and shut it out. I went through some deep depressions before I married and moved to Canada that caused me to do that, and I missed out on very, very much. I had no way of knowing then that one day I would move from Texas to Canada and long for time to spend with my parents and it would not be available...Space and their empending age and frailty now separates us where once only a bedroom door stood in the way. All I could think of as my parents stood faithfully at my locked bedroom door each day and knocked to see if I wanted to watch a movie with them or come to church with them, to try and draw me out of my sadness, was my own miseries. I surely was not thinking of the love and life waiting for me on the other side of the door.
Now I know that there's too much to do and too many happy times to be had with my son and my family to waste one minute of it. I want to be a giver, not a getter. I want to live the rest of my life in the light where, yes it's scary sometimes, but that's where mothers belong...out in the light and available. Our shoulders have to be visible to be leaned on, even if they are weak shoulders.
The only getting that matters in life is the getting of satisfaction that, when I am old and looking back, I will know that I tried my best and was sincere in the trying. Let's be "Real" givers...Givers of the heart, not of the conscience, for this is the example Jesus gave to us and is surely the one He wants us to follow.
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Reader Count & Comments
Date
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com. This is especially true with articles that
deal with personal healthcare and prophecy. We encourage the reader to make their own decision in consultation with God, His Word, and others as needed.
This article has been read 826 times < Previous | Next >
Read more articles by Lori Charles-Roberts or search for other articles by topic below.
This article has been read 826 times < Previous | Next >
Search for articles on: (e.g. creation; holiness etc.)
Read more by clicking on a link:Free Reprints
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles.
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review.
NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL
God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You
...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19
Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38
LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE
FaithWriters offers Christian reading material for Christian readers. We offer Christian articles, Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, Christian Bible studies, Christian poems, Christian articles for sale, free use Christian articles, Christian living articles, New Covenant Christian Bible Studies, Christian magazine articles and new Christian articles. We write for Jesus about God, the Bible, salvation, prayer and the word of God.