Short Stories
Why. The word tumbled around in Crystal’s head as she stared into the dark that covered her. Vaguely, she could make out the lines of her fan above her. It wasn’t moving, but cold air hung heavily in the room. She pulled the covers closer to herself and shivered. Why? She wondered once more. What had she done to deserve this? No, wait, she didn’t want the answer to that question. She knew that answer. The question was why had she done it?
Crystal rolled over and closed her eyes tight, trying to push the thoughts out of her mind. They continued to plagued her, and with a sudden jump from her bed she moved towards the door to her bedroom. She opened the door slightly and listened. She could hear her father’s and stepmother’s soft breathing in the room beside hers. Though she could not hear them, she knew her two younger half sisters were asleep in the room across the hallway. Crystal sighed and shut the door once more. She leaned against it and reached slowly to her right. With a knowing movement she turned the fan on. Perhaps the whirling sound would drown out the voices that continued in her mind.
Within ten steps she was at the edge of her bed. The clock on the night stand read 4:37am. Why had she woken up so early? There was that why word again. Crystal shook her head quickly. She had to get to sleep. She couldn’t ponder on these thoughts anymore. It was going to drive her insane.
Climbing back into her bed, Crystal curled up into a ball. She had a sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach that wouldn’t leave her alone. If only... but it was only that, an if only. She could see the scene playing before her eyes. First her alone, but then he came along. He and his friends. They promised love and friendship. They played on the longing that controlled her. She was alone. She wanted some stability. That was something she couldn’t find at home. Her mother was a wreck! Her parents had divorced when she was young and she had lived with her mother in Arizona for as long as she could remember. Now, now she was in Illinois, wondering why?
Crystal tried to close her eyes, but the scene played even more clearly.
“Please Crystal.”
“I don’t want to.”
“If you loved me, you would.”
Crystal had thought she loved him. She thought he had loved her, but she only felt used. Her mom was no help. Her mom hated her. If not hated, simply didn’t want her there.
“You ruined my life! If I hadn’t had you...”
Crystal would never let her mother finish the sentence. She would slam her bedroom door in her mother’s drunken face.
Bitter? Yeah, she was bitter. Why did that woman even ask her that? Of course she was bitter! Who wouldn’t be? She was more than bitter. And what did that woman even care, asking her all those questions?!
She tossed the covers away from her body and stood from her bed. Moving towards her window, she could see the first few rays of the morning light appearing through the trees. She crossed her arms across her chest and turned her back on the light.
The plane ride had been long. Heather, her best friend, had cried as they hugged goodbye. Heather had been there when Crystal needed her. But, Heather had her own problems.
“Lets just run away!”
“We can’t just run away Heather.”
“I just want to die. I just want to die. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about life anymore.”
“Me too.”
The truth of the matter was that Crystal didn’t want to die. She was afraid of death. That woman had asked her that question too! “What do you think would happen if you were to die today?”
Crystal ran her hands through her long brown hair. With a quick turn, she grabbed a scrunchie off the dresser. She used her left hand to gather the thick strands together and her right to wrap the scrunchie around the strands. The light was getting brighter outside. Soon, her crazy half-sisters would be up. They always got up early in the morning.
“I hate Joel.”
“I hate Stan.”
“Why do we stay with them?”
“I don’t know.”
Crystal’s eyes flew shut as the scene began play again. The plane ride to Illinois was long. Then that woman sat next to her. She asked her those first questions. “Where are you going? What is your name?” Really, it was Crystal’s fault for the conversation continuing. She shouldn’t have asked, but something had prompted her, and the question was out before she had known it. “So, you are a part of that church group that's on this plane right?”
“Right.”
“Are you all church-y?”
“I have a personal relationship with a loving God who sent His son to die in my place. I know I sin, and I know that I could never measure up to God’s perfection. I know that God wants me to be with Him in Heaven and to live with Him, to be with Him, to experience His love. That is why He sent His son to die, because me, being the sinner that I am, could never get to Heaven by anything that I do. It is because of my faith that God’s son died for me, and that God’s son, Jesus Christ, rose three days later, that I know if I died I would stand before God. So, if that is what you mean by being church-y, yeah I am.”
That was more then Crystal had asked for and she immediately cringed. But, she found herself asking more questions.
“God loves us?”
“Yes, in His love letter to us, the Bible, it says that in more than one verse. Just take John 3:16 for an example: For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life.”
“All we have to do is believe?” The disbelief was evident in Crystal’s voice.
“Exactly. Act 16:31 states: Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.”
“So, sin is anything we do wrong, right?”
“Yes.”
“And we can’t get to Heaven because of it, right?”
“Right, Romans 3:23, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. And Romans 6:23, For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Crystal half-hoped the woman would stop quoting those verses. There was something about those words, though, that was calming.
“You are telling me, no matter how bad we are or how good we are, if we never believe that Jesus is the son of God and that He died for our sins and rose from the dead, then we are not saved?”
“Yes.”
“But, God is able to forgive any sin?”
“Right.”
“It sounds too easy.”
Crystal turned from the window, and the memories, and began straightening items on her dresser. There was the crystal duck her father had given her two years ago. It was such a simple item, but she had treasured it. Crystal, just like her name. She picked up the item and brought it close to her face. A shrill whistle from the nearby train tracks startled her and the duck fell from her hands. Hitting the hard wood floor, it shattered into a million pieces.
Crystal gazed at it. The duck began to hold more similarities to her then just her name. She had been like that duck. Fragile at first, then people had begun to break her. Over and over again, she had been shattered into a million pieces, just like the crystal duck. Tears began to fall from Crystal’s eyes. She didn’t want to be broken anymore. She didn’t want to be hurt and ruined. She wanted someone to depend on. She raised her hands to her ears. The woman’s words came to her, but she fought against them.
“Jesus didn’t come into the world to condemn it, but to save it! He loves you too Crystal. He is dependable, He will never leave you. Even if you mess up. Once you trust Him, you are secure in Him. He will never hurt you Crystal.”
It was almost as if the woman knew just what to say to her! Crystal slid against the bed and onto the floor. It was more then she could comprehend. A God, who had created the world, loved her. He wouldn’t hurt her. Not like those around her hurt her. She wanted to be more than broken Crystal, she wanted to be loved by someone she could depend on, some one she could trust.
Slowly she raised her eyes to the ceiling. Then Crystal prayed.
“God. I believe all that you said in the Bible. I believe Jesus died for my sins so that I wouldn’t have to experience death in Hell. I want to have you forgive me for my sins, and I want someone to depend on. I want you to love me, and I want to love you. Thank you so much! Thank you for giving me your free gift of salvation. Thank you!”
The words ended, but her heart continued to give thanks to Him. She lowered her eyes to her stomach. “We aren’t going to be alone anymore little one. God is going to be by our side.” she spoke to her unborn child with a smile. She was no longer broken Crystal.
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(By the way, my name's Crystal too!)
~Crystal~
Structurally, it could be tightened up a bit - eliminate some unnecessary words here and there. But it flows really well, and it has strong, moving content. You wrestled with some tough issues in this piece, and you presented them well. You painted some very vived pictures, and the words found my heart quite quickly.
This is a very worthwhile read, thank you for posting it.