Humor
MASTER YODA: FRIES GUY
By David Ian
CAST OF CHARACTERS
GUY
YODA VOICE
(SFX: Car driving up, stopping, static spurt )
GUY: —Hello? Uh, for my order, I’ll have a cheese burger and a large cola please...
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Fries with that you want?
GUY: Yeah -- Hey! Are you Yoda?
YODA VOICE: (long pause) (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Yoda I not be.
GUY: I'm sure of it, you're Yoda!
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Mistaken you are.
GUY: Hey, Yoda! Whattya doin 'here?
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) To the first window you drive--
GUY: 'Smatter? Movie gig not work out for you?
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Anything else for you can I get?
GUY: Yeah! Can I have a little extra FORCE on the side (heh heh)
YODA VOICE: (dangerous pause) (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Smarty-pants, you look! When 300 year-old out of work muppet YOU BE, see if you can get better job than "Fries Guy" at Flippy Burger hmm?
GUY: Hey, look, I didn't mean anything--
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Moment-one you are Lucas' star, moment-next tossed over for no-talent Jar-Jar hmmm? Like it, see if you do, smarty.
GUY: Look, I'll, --
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Started not get me on that Jar-Jar hack! Everything down hill go since then!
GUY: --I'll, I’ll take the fries with that meal.
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Happens, next thing, only appearances in North Dakota shopping mall available gig, this signal career is tanked. Hmmm?
GUY: --Sounds rough, guy--
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) ROUGH! ROUGH say you? His Majesty Lord High King Lucas not return calls, does he? Now spend I days covered in hot grease speaking to likes of YOU?
GUY: Hey uh, forget the meal, I'm getting Chinese.
[SFX Car Drives off]
YODA VOICE: (SFX: static spurt; voice slight distort) Good luck you, there. Out of film job Wookie chef rampages at lunchtime...
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I'm glad I stumbled across this. I was there with ya - Yoda the burger flipper. Very nicely executed - but then - less could I expect?