Testimonies
I still live in the same town, even at the end of the same street that I lived on as a child growing up. But life has taken me on quite a journey. It has been a rocky road at times, navigating roads clouded by dust and full of potholes. My story is about a faith that has grown from living life and travelling through the detours that have come my way.
We all have in common a certain measure of faith that God has given to us depending upon our need and our trust in him. Consider briefly Abraham’s journey of faith.
Genesis 12:1 - The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. NIV
Hebrews 11:1-2, 8-11 – 1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for.... 8 By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9 By faith he made his home in the Promised Land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10 For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. 11 By faith Abraham, even though he was past age — and Sarah herself was barren — was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. NIV
Abraham was commended for his faith and his story is about a journey of increasing faith and his faith being rewarded. His journey begins with a simple step of faith by responding to God’s call to move. Abraham moved his family toward some unknown destination, just following the road that God had chosen for him. His faith increased while he waited on God’s promise of a true son and then grew even larger when asked to potentially sacrifice that son. They are all examples of faith followed by miracles of God’s glory. I wonder if you have ever considered that your faith is comparable to that of Abraham’s, or many others in the bible. God invited Abraham to follow him on this journey called life, so Abraham followed and began by simply moving his family on the road that God alone knew. No map, no directions, no destination, just the love of God and Abraham’s faith.
All of us are capable of big biblical faith. By God’s grace he grants the same faith potential to each one of us. We don’t have to manufacture it, just trust in it, nurture it, exercise it and let it grow as Abraham did. And out of his love for us, God has designed a unique faith journey for each of us. My journey won’t be like anyone else’s, that doesn’t make mine better or more powerful or more special, just mine. The growth of our faith, the size of our faith will depend, in part, upon our exercising that faith as we travel along life’s journey.
Daniel 3:16-18 - 16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." NIV
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego understood faith. They had a faith that was grown from living their everyday lives for God. In the face of adversity, they stood firm in their faith and gave praise to God regardless of the outcome. They understood that God had the power to deliver them, but their faith was not dependent upon that deliverance. They saw it as just a matter of God’s choice of the path that he had chosen for them. It is a choice that God makes for each one of us, not from a lack of power, but from an abundance of love.
We can choose the best super highway or scenic byway for our life’s journey. But seldom does our life follow the easy, pretty path that we have chosen. This is especially true for Christians. The reality is that for our benefit, our protection and especially for our faith’s sake, we will encounter detours. Detours that will force us to slow down and to travel down some pothole filled dusty backroad without our fancy GPS to guide us. These detours provide us with a choice; we can either rely on our abilities or rely on Jesus. It is when we decide to travel beyond our abilities and rely on Christ, that these detours then become the vital ingredient in the growth of our faith in Jesus Christ.
In 2 Corinthians 5:7 it states - “For we live by faith, not by sight.” (NIV). God desires for us to repent of our sins and turn to him and follow him by faith in what we believe and not just in what we see. Decisions large and small, potholes big and little, walls of various sizes and shapes can all be handled by his grace. Our faith needs to be more than just some theological idea that we discuss on Sundays. It is critical to our growth that we move our faith from an abstract idea that we discuss in church to a living reality in our daily life. We must embrace Jesus’ identity and realize that the name Christian is more than just a name. It must become a part of our everyday every moment life. We must travel each day with our eyes and our heart open to see and experience God at work around us, trusting in his route for our lives, regardless of whether we can see beyond the next turn or not.
Many times in life the detour that we travel may seem beyond our abilities. But our faith journey is about living life through those detours. Health, work, marriage or family issues can create chaos on our journey. The potholes may wound us, weaken us, clouds of dust may impair our sight, and attempt to choke out our very breath. We may grow weary from dodging the potholes and navigating the winding road. Roads with bends so sharp that it’s easier to see where you have been, then where you are going and worry may creep in as we wonder what is around the next bend. Abraham’s faith through the detours, the potholes, the dust, the waiting, deepened his relationship with God. His faith gained a vision into the ways of God that gave him the strength to travel on.
My faith journey started young, I grew up with Christian parents in a Christian home. I could go on and on of the many ways in which God has moved in every aspect of my personal, work, family and faith life. They have all been positively influenced by the presence of God’s Glory. I want to share just a few examples from my faith journey and show how our faith journey influences and intersects the lives of others.
In 1977, after high school I enrolled at Hocking Tech in Nelsonville Ohio. My parents and I arrived on move in day at the college only to find out that the dorm at the college had been overbooked. The college had made arrangements with Ohio University, a larger college 15 minutes away, to use one of their partially filled dorms. So we went to the OU campus and I got settled into my room. It wasn’t long before I knew that this was not the place for me. The parties soon started and lasted all week. This was not what I wanted from college. So on Friday morning I loaded up my car and after class that day drove back home with all my stuff. My plan was just to commute the 45+ minute drive from our house each day until something else came along. After a week or so, my dad and I went to Nelsonville to look for an apartment. I had been checking the bulletin boards at school each day, but had seen nothing.
We drove into Nelsonville early Saturday morning and Dad stopped at the United Methodist church in town. I wondered to myself why, especially on Saturday, no one is ever at church on Saturday. But we went in and sure enough the pastor was there. He knew of one couple in the congregation that rented out rooms so he gave us their name and directions to their house. It turned out to be the perfect fit. One person had not shown up and they said that if he did not show up or contact them by mid-week the room would be mine. Near the end of the week I got a phone call and the room was mine. As it turns out, one guy at the house was in same program as I was in and we became best friends. It was the perfect environment and set the foundation for a great college experience, all set in motion by my dad’s faith to stop at that church; his faith affected the course of my life.
Fast forward to the year 2000, almost 17½ years ago, and my life took a major detour that has been filled with many potholes. I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer. I have been through five different types of treatment cycles and five remissions but also four relapses, but more on that later.
In 2007, I was working out of town at the time, and as I got onto the interstate I noticed a car on the side of the road with an older couple standing to the side of it. With my chemo brain I didn’t process it in time to stop immediately, but I quickly wrestled with the decision to go back or not. Finally convinced that I needed to turn around I got off at the first exit. Instead of getting right back on the interstate to drive back to them, I decided to take the smaller two lane road back to the original intersection and on-ramp. About halfway back, as I rounded a bend in the road I saw a car that was headfirst in the ditch. Another car had just pulled over to help and the driver was trying to get out of the car that was in the ditch. As I pulled off the road a nearby homeowner came out and said that they would call 911. Myself and the driver from the other car stayed with the young man, talking and comforting him until the ambulance arrived. God’s detour allowed me to share his grace with someone in need. I got back on my detour, sure that the other couple on the side of the interstate would be gone by now. They were still there, but they had already called AAA and they didn’t need any help. They weren’t why God needed me to take a detour that morning. But my faith to listen did allow me to offer some assistance to the driver that had just wrecked his car.
A couple years later, in 2009, a rough day sent me on another detour. I was injured in a workplace accident and had to go to the emergency room. Later that same day, on the way home from the E.R. and unrelated to the accident, my primary care doctor called to give me the results of a previous scan that I had had and he told me that I needed neck surgery and he warned me to be careful about being in any accidents, if he only knew what had just happened that morning! Also, my wife and I were going to Ohio State in just four days to discuss further cancer treatment options. It led a co-worker to ask “why you?” and God answered that question with an acronym - IFHOGG – which stands for - Increased Faith, Humility, Obedience and God’s Glory and the time on that detour first from the accident and then the neck surgery gave me time to write a small book titled – “Why Do Bad Things Happen”, which even led to a small ministry for a while. Little did I realize at the time, the many potholes and detours that lay ahead where that little acronym would be of value for me.
Early in 2013, we (my wife Janet and I) came to a fork in the road with my cancer treatments. The doctors had given us a choice. Continue to undergo chemo every 1-2 years, most likely for the rest of my life, continuing with the remission/relapse cycle with increasing frequency until we ran out of treatment options, hoping in the meantime that more options would come along. Or I could take the risk and potential complications of a stem cell transplant. It was a risk that did not offer a cure but did offer the hope of a longer remission time. After much prayer we decided on the transplant route and in the fall of 2014 after four months of chemo in Parkersburg (my hometown) we prepared to go to Cleveland for the transplant at Cleveland Clinic.
We had requested a room at the ACS’s Hope Lodge in Cleveland and had also reserved a room at the Clinic’s hotel, while we waited to hear if there was going to be a room available at Hope Lodge. Our hope was to be able to stay at the Lodge during the initial part of our stay in Cleveland. In the fog of chemo-brain and the dust of uncertainty about where we would be staying and exactly what we would need for our extended stay in Cleveland we prepared as best that we could for the trip.
It was also our son’s senior year in college at WVU. He had been in the marching band all 4 years and I wanted to see him run out of the tunnel one last time, this time leading the main part of the band onto the field to perform at the first home game of his senior year. Depending on where we were staying, we did not have to be in Cleveland till the Sunday or Monday after the first game, so we had gotten tickets to the game on Saturday. They were in the first row, on the end next to a concrete barrier, under an overhang, and normal stadium seats, not bleachers so it was not as packed with people, perfect for my much suppressed immune system. We left for the game not knowing if we were leaving on Sunday for Hope Lodge or on Monday for the clinic and their hotel. As soon as we got in our seats, our cell phone rang and it was Hope Lodge. They had a room for us starting on Sunday. God had cleared some of the dust from the path that was ahead of us.
On Monday, our first day at the clinic came with more potential potholes, dust and detour signs all around. After a routine blood test in the morning we met with my doctor and transplant nurse in the afternoon. The test revealed that the transplant would have to be put on hold for at least a week because my blood counts were too low to safely begin the process. All the planning, all the scheduling, all my lists, all the packing and preparation for a multiple month stay – potentially derailed on the first day. Hope Lodge allows you to stay free and reserves your room as long as you need as long as you stay there five days out of seven and are in active treatment. We had cancelled our hotel reservation, we were at risk of losing our room at Hope Lodge, with no guarantee of a room the following week, of having to repack all the stuff and then unpack and repack again. We didn’t even know what the new transplant schedule would be. It was a stressful 24 hours, more uncertainty piled upon a mound of uncertainty about what was ahead with the transplant itself. It was almost too much to bear. Was it a sign that we weren’t supposed to do the transplant after all? But our faith was in Jesus and his abilities and the decision that he had led us to. My transplant nurse rearranged the transplant schedule that included blood tests and various appointments for that week, she personally talked to Hope Lodge and on Tuesday afternoon they decided that we could continue to stay at the Lodge. It allowed us to avoid all the packing and unpacking and removed some of the uncertainty. More importantly it afforded us the opportunity to take a day between appointments at the clinic and before the transplant process started in earnest and we couldn’t leave Cleveland and go and spend a day with Janet’s mom in Pittsburgh that was not doing very well at the time. God’s grace again broke through the dust and guided us through that detour and around the potholes.
The following week on Monday the transplant process started. A strong round of conditioning chemo on Monday was followed by surgery on Tuesday to install a chemo catheter into the main blood vessel by my heart. For the next two weeks there were daily outpatient neupogen injections to try to boost my WBC and IV anti-biotic infusions to ward off any infections. Even with this I did contract one infection and had to be hospitalized for several days while it cleared. But even that pothole allowed me a brief glimpse into life on the transplant floor, which was helpful to my frayed nerves. The 3rd week we harvested my stem cells and then had a few days off before the intense inpatient part began.
We checked out of Hope Lodge and into the clinic’s hotel the day before I was to be admitted. It was attached to the clinic so Janet could come and go without leaving the interior of the clinic or the hotel, for her safety and my peace of mind. I was admitted to the transplant unit at noon on a Wednesday, figuring the treatment would start the following day, but almost immediately after a flurry of nurses and doctors and care staff and instructions, it started. They began 8 straight, 24 hours a day of intense, life destroying chemo. But I tolerated it and on October 17, after almost 7 weeks in Cleveland, I celebrated my (new) re-birthday; I was infused with my stem cells. But the days that followed I was a mess. I have been sick before, I have had several rounds and types of chemo, but this was so much more. I even asked Janet not to leave my side and she slept in the room for many nights.
As advertised, the transplant was difficult. I had done all the research. I thought I was prepared, but not really. The sickness, the pain, even the reality of how close death was, at times caved in on me. Really from the time that we checked in at Hope Lodge doubt began to creep in. At times I caught myself hoping that the transplant would be cancelled. I was tired of being sick and not looking forward to being sicker. The reality had hit me; the pothole seemed too wide and too deep for me to navigate. Each transplant recipient life hangs in the balance for a few days after the transplant. Reeling from the effects of the chemo, your body starts attacking itself on the inside and all you can do is endure it, while waiting on the new stem cells to graft in and to create new acceptable blood so your body can survive and heal itself, so you can live. You’re kept alive by red blood transfusions, platelet transfusions, IV antibiotics, morphine, countless other medications and oh yeah, a healthy dose of God’s grace.
Janet had placed several reminders in my hospital room to help me through the process, Philippians 4:13 – ‘I can do all things by Christ”, reminders to walk and drink fluids regardless of how I felt and also a reminder of IFHOGG. And God had placed a song in my head - “Precious Lord, take my hand, Lead me on, let me stand, I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm worn, through the storm, through the night, Lead me on to the light, Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home”. In my hospital bed, sicker than I’ve ever been, those reminders helped me to stay focused on Christ, to still read my daily devotions and to go one moment at a time. While caring for me, Janet was also being a friend to other caregivers, patients and even the staff in the transplant unit. There is no doubt that that floor was filled with God’s Spirit during those days. And through it all God rewarded me with a new life and I am alive in Christ, praise his holy name.
But my new life wasn’t the only miracle that happened during those days. A couple of days before my infusion of stem cells, a friend from our church was rushed to Cleveland Clinic for emergency heart surgery. His wife was not at all prepared; she was alone and had no place to stay. But God was prepared. We had a room at the hotel that she could share with Janet, as long as she needed. It also gave them both someone to lean on during a difficult time for the both of them.
In total, we spent almost 3 months in Cleveland and many extraordinary things happened while there – God moved in a mighty way in my life, Janet’s life, our friend’s life, and even our daughter’s life. Unbeknownst to me at the time, yet another miracle was happening.
John 11:4 – “When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." NIV
Isaiah 58:8 - Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. NKJV
As Isaiah says - The glory of the Lord is our rear guard, in other words, God has your back. While I was sick, while I was just lying in a hospital bed, while I couldn’t protect myself much less my family or anyone, God was standing in the gap for me. I had a dream the very first week that we were in Cleveland. It was not a normal ordinary dream, but the type that you read about in the bible. It was a biblical, God speaking, close encounter with the Most Holy God type of dream. I immediately shared it with Janet. We had had many problems with our daughter while she was growing up. We had so many issues. It was terrible, horrible at times; we felt alone in our struggle, lost and unable to help her. She was out on her own, we didn’t know where she was staying or if she was even alive for periods of time. She was on a road filled with massive potholes being tossed one way and then another and obscured by the dust she was headed straight for a cliff. The dream that night was just an image of her at our house, on the stairs and we were laughing together. No great detail, but it stirred my heart and soul and I understood the implication of the image, and more importantly the hope of a healed daughter and family. And even the hope that if something went wrong with the transplant, that Janet would have our daughter back to help her. At that point God answered our many prayers from over the years. He had kept her alive until she was ready to hear his voice. At some point during the transplant process, she listened to God and with God’s help; entered rehab and the direction of her life has changed 180 degrees. With God’s help her journey is now going in a positive direction and we are a healed family.
The transplant takes you as close as they can to death’s door, and then they keep you alive until new blood starts to grow. It’s a miracle of life and has been a constant reminder for me of the importance of receiving the new blood that Jesus has provided for our lives. It’s a reminder that way too often we live at the edge of death, waiting on a blood transfusion, forgetting that Jesus has already endured the cross and given his blood for us, to give life to our faith. Do we truly believe? Can we get ourselves out of the way, set aside our pride and just get busy being obedient to him, trusting him? Great things are in store for us if we can and we can experience and share in the very glory of God himself, even in biblical ways.
Faith is our lifeline to Jesus. Many days that will be all that we have. When we are too tired, too confused, too beaten down, too everything that Satan and the world may throw at us, it is our faith that gets us through to the next moment. I saw faith each day as Janet and the hospital staff cared for me, as family visited, in conversations with other patients, as cards came in and covered the walls of our room. It was evident with other patients and the staff that we were not alone in the fight. I have witnessed his miracles of glory; my faith is increasing and gaining a new vision. My life is much richer today because I have traveled down those pothole filled dusty backroads with Jesus as my guide.
The biggest pothole for many Christians is simply living a life of faith. We have enough faith to believe in the shed blood of Jesus to provide for our salvation. But we don’t always live out our faith in the full power of his blood to transform our daily lives for him. I ask you, is your faith increasing? Are you ready and willing to move forward without knowing where forward is? Are you ready to go on, knowing that there may be detours and dust and potholes along the way? Are you willing to risk traveling those roads without Jesus? Our lives are a witness of the lifesaving blood transplant that Jesus offers to everyone from Calvary. We have all been born again in Jesus and we have a new life to live and a story to tell.
We easily recognize that we are blessed to bless others – I offer to you that sometimes we have to travel a detour or run headlong into a pothole so that we can be a blessing to others as well. Those detours and potholes are an opportunity for us to experience God in a unique, special way and for our faith in God to increase. Our journey through those pothole filled dusty backroads give life to our witness and is witness of God’s love for us. From our personal experience of His glory on our journey, we can help others on their journey.
Praise God, I am currently in remission. Does it mean that life is perfect, that the cancer will never come back, no. There are still many physical and emotional hurdles that I have to deal with from all the chemo and the road has left me wounded and scarred so to speak. But the journey has allowed me to see things as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did. I give praise to God today and tomorrow whether I stay in remission or the cancer relapses or if other detours come my way. It is not because God is not able to heal me; it may just be that he has a different route for me to take. Regardless, I know that God loves me and I trust in his wisdom to guide my life. It has required a tremendous amount of faith, while also deepening that faith.
Faith enables us to navigate difficult and rough roads. We may suffer at times, but not just to suffer, but for many reasons, some far beyond our understanding. There may be tough days, days and events that seem to make no sense. But as our faith grows; our vision, our trust and our focus on God’s will and glory becomes clearer and stronger. We don’t have to fear what might lie ahead around the next corner or what we might see when the dust from the chaos in our life settles. The Holy God of the universe believes in you and loves you, the blood of his Son has redeemed you and filled you with His Spirit and His glory is your rear guard, he has your back.
Amen.
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