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A Light in the Tunnel
I never saw it coming.
My job had gradually become unfulfilling so I had planned and fully expected to find another job before leaving. This, of course, is the normal process when professional development means moving on to another place of employment and new opportunities. When I was called down to my immediate supervisor’s office I remember thinking that perhaps he had finally found a task for me that was more closely in tune with my God-given abilities. At the very worst, I thought, I would be demoted to a lesser position since I was fairly certain my work load was not as heavy as that of my peers. As the brief, one-sided conversation played out, the inescapable realization began to slowly coalesce in my mind: I was being fired!
Suddenly finding myself being escorted out carrying a cardboard box of personal items, feelings of rejection began to tear at my heart. Like a broken tool or an outdated computer, I was being discarded because I was no longer useful to my employer. No longer would my best efforts have any impact on friends, coworkers and customers who once depended on me to do my job well. No longer would I have the opportunity to give valued opinions and take meaningful action in the ongoing processes of my employer’s business. The reasons for doing most of what I did each day, from waking up in the morning to preparing for the next day’s activities at night, were reduced to zero.
Fear started as a small voice in the center of my being while I sat in my supervisor’s office and had climaxed to a deafening scream by the time I arrived home early in the afternoon, box in hand. My wife, who was on her way out shopping, met me at the door. Her hand flew to her mouth having instantly guessed the awful truth before I had a chance to tell her what had happened. With three children, including one with a wife and child, and my elderly mother living with us, the inevitable question quickly dominated the conversation: How will we live? I had no answer. My entire family suddenly found itself in a long dark tunnel of absolute uncertainty. It was a situation that would certainly and quickly lead to progressively lower standards of living, to a place where poverty and fear rule the day.
Or so it would seem.
Two days after becoming unemployed, I was driving to a small group Bible study while contemplating the common but unsatisfying adage: “there’s light at the end of the tunnel.” The next thought did not seem to be entirely my own: "I know the Light, and the Light knows me. The Light is with me and will never leave me as I walk through and out of the tunnel!" The revelation was unmistakable. Bathed in such absolute comfort, such incomprehensible love, it took every bit of strength to maintain control of the car as I shed tears of blissful joy. The familiar passage from Psalm 23 came to mind but with a new and deeper meaning:
“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
All at once it hit me. What had happened to me was not about me. Every situation, every experience, every sleepless night has been carefully and lovingly orchestrated by the One who created all that exists, our Father God. His divine purpose for all that happens is to show a doubting and sin-sick world that He is sovereign and that He can be trusted to take care of us because He loves us in ways that are far beyond our understanding.
I know now that God has allowed this life-changing experience to show me I must let go of foolishly thinking I can forge my own destiny, that I can take one breath without His grace. He reminds me of His word in Proverbs 16:9, which says, “A man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps.”
I will walk in the tunnel for as long as He wants me to. I don’t know what new thing I will see at the end of the tunnel, but I have no doubt that He is in there with me, lighting the way. He does not illuminate the entire length of the tunnel, lest I run to its end before I am ready. But His light stretches only as far as needed for each step so that we walk, arms entwined, one trustful step at a time.
Epilogue
In the same month that my last unemployment check arrived, I emerged from the tunnel of uncertainty and into the light of a new beginning, a new and fulfilling job, and a stronger faith in Jesus' promise that He will see me through the next tunnel and the next until He comes to take me Home.
Jim Scorzelli
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