Women
Luke 10:42 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. KJV I sit in quietness and serenity, but I sense her presence. She is urging me, pleading and pushing me. I resist but for how long? My spirit longs to slip away, to sit down, and listen to the Lord, to escape a state of anxiety and not listen to her. She becomes hot and frustrated with me, but I am utterly dependent on this time with God. I have frantically tried to keep up with the pace, but I have exhausted myself, spent all my energy and will surely collapse if I continue. I am at the end of my fragile self. I cannot possibly do all the things I feel pressured to do any longer without rest and renewal, but she persistently screams, "Go and do." If she keeps after me, I will relent just to be rid of her. Why am I such a pushover? God is so eager for me to come to Him. He whispers, "Relationship, not performance is the heart of the matter." He knows when I come, ask for strength, forgiveness, leading and enablement, He will work a sweeping change in my spirit. The roller coaster will stop, and I will recognize the true meaning of life is not about trying to survive and live up to the expectations of others but to love and be loved by Him. I grasp for the opportunity, but it is an all-out struggle. So many things wrestle for my attention. Surely, I was not created for what I have become, a robot living day in and day out desperately trying to keep all the problems of life under control. "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." If I see myself as a robot and the one who must be in control, then I have become a pack horse weighed down with an unbearable load. It is an illusion which will block my spiritual progress because I will always obey the Martha in me and rob myself of what is best. The profound truth is if what I see as important in life is something other than a love relationship with the Lord, how great is the darkness in which I walk. I will certainly lose my way. Tension comes when I attempt to live in two worlds, the spiritual and the natural. Jesus says, "Give first priority to the spiritual and be confident that I will meet your needs. In other words if I will be about the Father's business, He will take care of mine. It is in the secret place that I leave a state of anxiety. The gnawing frenzy immediately halts. The hopelessness turns into exhilarating confidence that all is well. What God really wants from me is a personal acknowledgement of Him as Lord and trusted Controller of my life.
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