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Re: Be a Better Writer -- ACTION/ADVENTURE

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:12 am
by TracePezzali
Hi Helen,

Yes, I did post it. "First Encounter" about a sea monster of all things!

Jan, I previously asked about whether I can have more than one POV in a story, and you mentioned that if done right, it can be an acceptable option. Can you peruse "First Encounter" for me to let me know if King Valsery's POV works alright? I felt it absolutely necessary to explain that his years have been extended by the Dark Lord for a cost, he has plans to forge a dynasty, and that there is a Sorceress he seeks counsel from.

I'm very excited as I think this is the second chapter of a book I could write :superhappy So I need to get it right in my head at this stage, this POV business.

[url= ... p?id=49886] [First Encounter/url]

I'm not sure if I've linked this right... :roll:

Thank you for your help. :thankssign

Re: Be a Better Writer -- ACTION/ADVENTURE

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 10:08 am
by glorybee
Trace, I didn't have any problems with the POV in that story. It's all firmy in Alup's POV. The only paragraph that might be considered to be in Valsery's POV is the seventh paragraph, and really only the last sentence of that paragraph. This statement (...a price the King was happy to pay) easily works as part of the narrative, and doesn't really hop into the head of that character in that moment.

You were very close to posting a linked title. The whole first bit in brackets is fine. Then type the title, but NOT in brackets. Then type [/url]. In other words, if you'd just moved the bracket in front of 'First' to in front of /url, it'd be perfect.