Search found 99 matches

by pheeweed
Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:08 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: LESSON 18--A GREAT BEGINNING #3
Replies: 36
Views: 64074

This is the beginning of a Mother's Day devotional I wrote about Salome, mother of John and James. I don't actually introduce her until the second paragraph. I’ve always hated the bumper sticker that says “Proud parent of an honor student.” My kids weren’t honor students. I’m not saying I’m not prou...
by pheeweed
Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:11 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: LESSON 18--A GREAT BEGINNING #3
Replies: 36
Views: 64074

Oh no! I started my page turner entry with a Bible verse. But if the reader just skips over it, I may be okay. After the verse I told a story about people I saw at the mall, doing something that illustrates my main point. On to the homework. Here is the beginning of A Grief Observed by one of my fav...
by pheeweed
Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:40 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings #2--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 52
Views: 88610

pheeweed wrote: so you're lessons are more helpful than analyzing the EC winners on my own.
But obviously I don't spend enough time reading Ann's lessons.
by pheeweed
Sun Nov 14, 2010 7:47 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings #2--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 52
Views: 88610

Thank you. I wasn't sure if it gave enough information about the MC, but her name should tell the reader that she's young. Here's the link if you want to read the rest: http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article-level3-previous.php?id=35777 And Jan, I forgot to say how glad I am that you're back. I'm th...
by pheeweed
Sun Nov 14, 2010 2:41 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings #2--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 52
Views: 88610

I don't think I have any challenge entries that meet all the criteria. So I'll try this one. Lizzie dashed into the library, hugging the weapons against the bodice of her red silk evening gown. Her eyes darted around the room, barely seeing the stacks of books. She had left the others in the dining ...
by pheeweed
Sat Oct 30, 2010 9:33 am
Forum: Page Turner Writing Contest
Topic: question
Replies: 4
Views: 4413

Thank you, Deb.

It's in. Phew. Now I can on to work on the rest of the book.
by pheeweed
Fri Oct 29, 2010 8:48 pm
Forum: Page Turner Writing Contest
Topic: question
Replies: 4
Views: 4413

question

Nothing like waiting till the last minute...

My entry is ready to submit, but I need to know whether my name should be on my manuscript or just on the entry form.

Thanks.
by pheeweed
Fri Jul 02, 2010 6:19 am
Forum: Ann's Grammar Basics
Topic: Mystery Lesson . . . Lesson revealed and explained . . .
Replies: 10
Views: 17287

Anja wrote:

The mission team worked together on their respective tasks[/i].[/b]
Shouldn't this be "the mission team members..." or is it implied?

Phee
by pheeweed
Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:24 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings (#1)--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 104
Views: 174638

I don't have a good story. The sentence was my first thought when I woke up yesterday. My second thought was, that's a good first sentence.

I wish I could remember the dream, then I'd have a story.

Phee
by pheeweed
Mon Jun 28, 2010 4:35 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings (#1)--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 104
Views: 174638

ElizaEvans wrote: I write this sitting in the kitchen sink ~ I Capture the Castle
One of my favorite titles. It's the reason I read the book.

Phee
by pheeweed
Mon Jun 28, 2010 4:26 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings (#1)--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 104
Views: 174638

I've had a hard time with titles ever since I wrote for a newspaper and my editor always changed my title, but never told me what was wrong with them. I've tried to use your advice about salsa words, punctuation and short or long in my challenge entries. I think I've had a few good ones. Here's my f...
by pheeweed
Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:56 pm
Forum: Ann's Grammar Basics
Topic: Mystery Lesson . . . Lesson revealed and explained . . .
Replies: 10
Views: 17287

Re: Mystery Lesson

I’ll not do the “lesson proper” until I get some feedback. (If you're all correct, maybe I won’t need to cover this.) Still clueless on the above. If someone is going to another country, it’s important that he get a passport. Do we all have passports? Has everybody got your passport? The mission te...
by pheeweed
Tue Jun 15, 2010 3:23 pm
Forum: Ann's Grammar Basics
Topic: Mystery Lesson . . . Lesson revealed and explained . . .
Replies: 10
Views: 17287

I asked my English teacher daughter. The word is pronoun. I'm so embarassed. :oops:

So they use singular pronouns when they should be plural or the other way around.

Phee
by pheeweed
Mon Jun 14, 2010 12:58 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: #15--WELL-CONSTRUCTED NON-FICTION
Replies: 46
Views: 62455

Here's a non-fiction paragraph that could be the opener for a devotional. Every missionary kid plays the piano, so, of course, I took lessons. But unlike other MKs, I didn’t have any talent. I was stuck in the beginner book for five years before I finally gave up. I couldn’t sing either. My mother w...
by pheeweed
Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:02 pm
Forum: Ann's Grammar Basics
Topic: Mystery Lesson . . . Lesson revealed and explained . . .
Replies: 10
Views: 17287

Re: Mystery Lesson

I’ll not do the “lesson proper” until I get some feedback. (If you're all correct, maybe I won’t need to cover this.) I'm stumped on this one, unless feedback is plural. If someone is going to another country, it’s important that they get a passport. Do we all have a passport? Has everybody got the...

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