Search found 2356 matches

by glorybee
Tue Jul 11, 2017 8:43 pm
Forum: The Water Cooler
Topic: First word that comes to mind.
Replies: 2638
Views: 325170

Re: First word that comes to mind.

oursilverstrands wrote:
Over


Lillian
easy
by glorybee
Sun Jul 09, 2017 4:59 pm
Forum: The Water Cooler
Topic: First word that comes to mind.
Replies: 2638
Views: 325170

Re: First word that comes to mind.

Hockey
by glorybee
Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:17 pm
Forum: The Water Cooler
Topic: First word that comes to mind.
Replies: 2638
Views: 325170

Re: First word that comes to mind.

RedBaron wrote:
Court
handball
by glorybee
Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:20 am
Forum: The Water Cooler
Topic: First word that comes to mind.
Replies: 2638
Views: 325170

Re: First word that comes to mind.

Shann wrote:Marker
sharpie
by glorybee
Tue Jul 04, 2017 8:25 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--CHARACTERIZATION
Replies: 28
Views: 25017

Re: Be a Better Writer--CHARACTERIZATION

Absolutely correct (by the way, this was a mostly true story; I was June, and the baby was my little brother).
by glorybee
Tue Jul 04, 2017 8:22 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Conclusion #2--the 5th judging criterion
Replies: 40
Views: 29316

Re: Conclusion #2--the 5th judging criterion

I like your revision very much--I think you're definitely on to something. Once the challenge starts up again, I strongly encourage you to read the top entries in Level 4 each week for more examples of strong writing. By the way, I remember this piece--I believe I was judging that week, and I rememb...
by glorybee
Tue Jul 04, 2017 8:18 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Dialog #1
Replies: 103
Views: 96013

Re: Dialog #1

Hi Jan, here is my shot: Jocelyn frowned and yelled at me, "Why church people can't have fun, hein, mom?" I'm going anyway, you know that..." She walked sideways at my front. Seated on the sofa, I kept looking at my tablet. I had to be careful to answer to that one. "It's not about being a Christia...
by glorybee
Mon Jul 03, 2017 7:35 pm
Forum: The Water Cooler
Topic: First word that comes to mind.
Replies: 2638
Views: 325170

Re: First word that comes to mind.

Laurie wrote:Broken
toe
by glorybee
Sat Jul 01, 2017 10:02 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings #2--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 52
Views: 51715

Re: Beginnings #2--the 4th judging criterion

Yes, you've chosen an excellent example of a good beginning. (And writers as good as Hemingway have earned the right to use as many or as few commas as they wish!)
by glorybee
Fri Jun 30, 2017 1:03 pm
Forum: The Water Cooler
Topic: First word that comes to mind.
Replies: 2638
Views: 325170

Re: First word that comes to mind.

itsjoanne wrote:Amazed
labyrinth
by glorybee
Thu Jun 29, 2017 10:49 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--PUNCTUATING DIALOGUE
Replies: 11
Views: 10145

Re: Be a Better Writer--PUNCTUATING DIALOGUE

Athayde wrote:I had some doubts about the capitalization after question mark and exclamation point!

"Why should I do that?" she asked.

"Rachel, I love you." He smiled and held her hands.

"Philip is in love with Vida," she said.

This is great, Jan. Thanks.
Well done!
by glorybee
Thu Jun 29, 2017 10:48 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Dialog #2
Replies: 52
Views: 59277

Re: Dialog #2

Yes, 'grumbled' and 'whispered' are fine here. Well done!
by glorybee
Thu Jun 29, 2017 10:46 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Beginnings (#1)--the 4th judging criterion
Replies: 104
Views: 98997

Re: Beginnings (#1)--the 4th judging criterion

Hi Jan, here's my title and first sentence: 1. Title: Hitherto (J's series) 2. First sentence: The farmhouse porch light turned on. On the floor, a dropped off baby girl inside a basket, chewed a paper note with the words, please, don't worship or speak in tongues near this child . Thanks. Blessing...
by glorybee
Fri Jun 23, 2017 10:24 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--SHOW, DON'T TELL
Replies: 15
Views: 15487

Re: Be a Better Writer--SHOW, DON'T TELL

Athayde wrote:Please forgive me Glorybee. I've called you Jan...

Thanks for the review. God bless you.

Eneida
There's nothing to forgive--Jan is my name!
by glorybee
Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:49 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--SHOW, DON'T TELL
Replies: 15
Views: 15487

Re: Be a Better Writer--SHOW, DON'T TELL

Loved the "gnashed his teeth" bit! As to your question, I don't believe I've ever seen a character's thoughts written in parenthesis--that would be a very avant garde and experimental way to write, and probably would be thought very unusual by your audience. Most contemporary writers prefer to use i...

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