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Topic: Bullies (08/09/04)
TITLE: The Clemans boys By Larry Hill 08/10/04 |
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My first encounter with a bully happened at that very sandbox of dreams we three boys shared together. It was late one afternoon and we were busy moving copious amounts of soil and sand to build a monument worthy of a place in architectural history when the Clemans boys arrived. I was the smallest and youngest of our trio so I quietly slid behind my brothers to see what was going to happen. In my innocence I never expected trouble and I just figured they were kids who wanted to join our fun. I was completely mistaken in this assessment as these were not boys who wanted to join in our fun, these were bullies. This was my first encounter with such an anomaly so I kept quiet and observed. They intimidated my older brothers and tore our construction project apart. My brothers never lifted a finger to stop them as they ruined our hard work and even tried to destroy our toy trucks. Thank God for Tonka quality and durability. Our mother had always told us to never fight but I still recall wondering why my older brothers allowed this outrage to continue. Why would anyone want to be as mean spirited as these Clemans boys were I wondered to myself? I figured if my siblings were unable to intervene then I had better keep silent and still and maybe I would not be noticed. This seemed to be a well thought out strategy but it failed, one of the bullies pointed me out and my humiliation was complete. I wanted to speak up and fight back but I had no support from my much bigger and stronger brothers so I took everything the Bullies threw at me and just pretended it was not happening. This would turn out to be only the first time I would weather a storm called a bully. I know now with my years of experience that if a bully is allowed to succeed the first time they will be back with even more confidence in their ability to do anything they want to the weaker ones they find. I grew up watching my older brothers being picked on and beaten up as the word spread that they would not fight to defend themselves. I also took many beatings and hard knocks as I grew up because I had always been taught that fighting was no way to solve a problem. One thing that was never mentioned when my mother instructed us not to fight was that she would fight to protect her brother and sister when she was in school. She was the toughest girl around and never lost a fight, but she taught us to never fight. I know now that fighting is not the best way to solve a problem, but I also know that when dealing with a bully it is the only way to halt the abuse. Bullies rely on intimidation and scare tactics to ensure they can hurt others and not be hurt themselves. The only way to stop a bully is to hurt him, cause him pain and he will seek either a weaker subject or stop the behavior altogether. We are taught as Christians to turn the other cheek and forgive our enemies but sometimes we have to stand our ground and protect ourselves. I learned humility and patience in my dealings with these monsters called bullies and I think if I had it all to do over again the first thing I would do is to punch the biggest Clemans boy right in the nose and be done with it. They would certainly have given me a beating, but the beating up of ones self confidence and the damage to the inner soul by cowering in fear is much worse than a bloody nose or a busted lip any day.