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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Bullies (08/09/04)

TITLE: Why Are Daddies Bullies?
By Cindy Bonner
08/15/04

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Sometimes, being a little girl is humiliating. Daddies donít seem to know what is right when it comes to their own little girls and boys. Why is that?

Growing up with the turmoil of fighting parents, why canít Daddy and Mommy be friends? Do they always have to fight to talk? Why doesnít Daddy hug me and tell me a story? Why does he touch me so I feel funny inside and I am scared? Doesnít Daddy love Mommy any more? Did she do something wrong?
He is saying he is happy with me, but I feel dirty and Mommy hates me. She says Daddy loves me better than her. I just want us to be happy as a family, but I donít know how.

Now Daddy hits Mommy and it makes me so sad. Sometimes he hits me and when he does, he smells funny like dirty smoke. Not like clean smoke from the fireplace, an icky smoke that smells bad.
I canít ever be a good girl any more; I canít make Daddy happy any more. He is angry with me all the time.
When I am at school, I see my girlfriends with their Daddies and they are so happy with them. My Daddy is only happy when he is alone with me, and making me feel funny. When he is done with me, I wash up in the bathroom, but I canít get clean. I start to cry, because I donít understand how to get clean again. Why is this happening to me? I ask God to help me and I wash myself until I start to bleed. I am still not clean. Why canít I get clean, God?

I begin to tell God everything, because no one listens to me. Daddy runs away and Mommy tells me it is because he hates me. I donít understand. Why does he hate me? God, how can I love myself, if my Daddy hates me? Why is he doing this to me?
Mommy is distant from me and gives me no comfort.
I am starting to understand that maybe she doesnít know how to comfort me, because she doesnít know how to comfort herself.

As the years go by, I start to pray that Daddy will learn to hug me like a normal Dad, instead of making love to me. Why am I so attractive in that way? I am an ugly girl, unfit for anyone with a pure heart.

Why are Daddies bullies? We love them so muchÖ


Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight08/16/04
Cindy,
This is so sad but you captured what I'm sure too many little girls feel. If you ever write a book to give hope and encouragement to others who have gone through this include this piece.
Dian Moore08/16/04
I agree. This is a good start to a book. You've captured the hopelessness and fear of an abused child so well. Helping them recover by offering understanding is a gift not often given. Thank you.
Kenny Paul Clarkson08/16/04
Well, I'll have to admit that such honesty is hard ó but necessary ó to read.

Makes us appreciate our "normal" dads.

Thanks for this fine entry.
L.M. Lee08/19/04
it is unfortunate that in our world too many girls have to live with this perversion.
David Ian08/19/04
I think you did an excellent job of portraying the problem and keeping the child's voice. Too often writers put adult voices onto children in situations like these. Many questions, and even the answers don't bring comfort. Yeah, it's difficult to read, but something we should never turn away from if we are aware of it.
Very bold.
Lynne Gaunt08/19/04
Wow Cindy, this is a brave piece of writing. You have done well portraying the torment these girls go through. Heartbreaking. Wow.
Mary Elder-Criss08/19/04
This was absolutely heartbreaking. I find myself unable to adequately express the feelings that rose within me reading this, but it sure made me get up out of my seat and go hug my daughters.
Deborah Anderson08/22/04
This packed a well deserved punch in an area that needs to be addressed. Thank you very much and God bless.
Norma OGrady08/22/04
Powerful
Written from that little girl within the adult.
Its so sad when a parent crosses the boundary and robs the child of their innocents.
God bless your bravery to open this can of hurt and pain and share it with the world.
If infact there can be closure.
I pray that you have found closure with this.
Norma