The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 2104 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/13/06
Beautiful!
I enjoyed this. :-) Whatch for things to give authenticity to the time period. I noticed "a glass of milk" in the second entry...I don't think a Hebrew in Bible times drank out of glasses. Good job.
04/15/06
This is lovely.

Just one suggestion...... You use a lot of desciptions like 'indescribable', and 'rambuctious' etc ... could you show us rather than tell us?

Just a suggestion. Overall, I think you've fitted a lot in and given us a glimpse into the mind of a special lady. I especially liked Joseph's quip about the tent ;-)
04/15/06
This gave me chills to glimpse into the heart of Mary. I think we wanted more because a diary is more of a telling thing when what we want is to experience the depth of the times, but this encourages us to begin thinking about the gravity of the situation from the mother's point of veiw - and that's a good thing. Great format with even greater potential.
Good job!
04/15/06
Well done. We know Mary "pondered", and now we have insight into what she might have "pondered" on. One detail - a mother always thinks her son is handsome, but Isaiah seems to indicate that Jesus had nothing about him that was physically attractive. You might want to adjust that. Great writing though.
04/16/06
What a blessing to read this a few hours before Easter morning! It gives even more poignancy(if that's possible) to the story on which Christians place all faith. Beautifully done.
04/17/06
I love this glimpse into Mary's thoughts and emotions. I don't think they had diaries back then, though, so I wonder if you'd consider re-visiting this as just a series of thought-vignettes, perhaps set apart by a few asterisks? It would make it seem more true to its setting. As far as the actual entries--just wonderful, you really showed us her motherly heart.
04/18/06
I loved this 'between-the-lines' look into the ponderings and innermost thoughts of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Nicely done. And Linda S. has already mentioned about the appearance of Jesus in scripture, but I think we human parents are usually biased on that subject, nevertheless. (smile) Thank you for sharing your version of Mary's secret ponderings with us.
A sweetly-told and very clear look inside Mary's heart. Nice job!
04/19/06
Perfect timing for the week of Easter. You did a wonderful job of showing us Mary's heart. I agree with the comments about the glass of milk and use of Dear Diary, and I think if you had more words available you could flesh some of this out more. Overall, I really enjoyed this and you did a great job bringing us inside Mary's head.
Creative idea! Mary's diary! You've managed to capture details of a very wide time span in a 750 word limit. Not easy! I love the 'slip' Mary had in saying 'my..your son'. That's so profound. We do that all the time, don't we...saying 'my' to God when it should be 'your'!
I loved it. Was there a pre-determined wordcount on this? If not you should have given us more of Christ as we see him in the Gospels. Anyway, lovely.Read one of my postings-'woman where are your accusers' and meet with the adult Jesus.