Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: SEA CHANGE or TREE CHANGE (07/13/17)
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TITLE: Nothing Is Holding Me Back | Previous Challenge Entry
By Judy Sauer
07/20/17 -
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“But… what about your life here? You’re my best friend. I will miss you so much,” said her mom.
“I know. Many things need to fall into place for me to move,” she said. “I need a job and an apartment. Nothing is holding me back from moving at this point in my life. Really, think about it mom, when else could I make such a big leap of faith?”
In a matter of three days, all her issues were resolved:
On day one, she found an open early childhood teacher position and applied. “Mom, I found a job!”
On day two, she interviewed by video chat for that teaching position. “Hello, this is Mitzi,” she said to the interview panel.
“Um… we’re not sure what happened. We see you as a cat,” and laughter ensued.
As her heart pounded in her chest, Mitzi said, “Wow! I don’t know how that happened. I can see you fine. Let me check my settings.” Less than a minute had passed when her face appeared.
“That was quite the ice-breaker,” the Principal said as she chuckled. “Let’s get started.”
On day three, she was offered the job and received the teacher contract by email, which she returned in a matter of minutes. Later that day, she found an apartment. As a tangled web of excited nervousness seeped into her body, she called her mom. “Mom, I got a job and an apartment. This is so exciting. Be happy for me, please.”
“Well, it appears this move is God-designed based on how he pulled everything together so fast,” her mom said. Hot salty tears streamed down her face. Her heart shattered into a million pieces—as if shards of glass assaulted her in vicious wave after wave.
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Mitzi and her dog left the Midwest for small town America in the Northern plains, a few hours east of the Rocky Mountains. In the bat of an eyelash, she zipped postal codes from one state to another. That was nine years ago. The time has passed fast.
The temptations of big city life were not missed. She no longer shopped on a whim. Gone were the big name stores that offered thousands of choices. She settled for what the small town offered.
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With a dejected heart, she called her mom. “After the novelty of ‘our big sister lives in town’ wore off, my siblings have fizzled. Before I came, I told them to be honest with me. If I moved here, would I be in their lives? Now they’re off doing their own things.” Sniffles and a blown nose sounded through the phone. “I’m so depressed and feel abandoned. I know how sad you were when I left. Did I make the right choice?”
“Oh, honey. I’m sorry they ditched you. It’s only been nine months. Teenagers change priorities like they change underwear.”
Mitzi snickered. “Before I left, Aunt Toni said “Maybe God has your future husband out there.’ Well, where is he?”
A few months after that call she bought a house; this meant the move was permanent. It also brought two of her siblings back. Two months later she went to a Labor Day party. That’s when she met Jason. They wed a year and one-half later. That was five years ago. Since then, she birthed two babies.
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They saw each other twice a year. Those family visits were fun—until they ended.
On a recent visit back home, Jason told her dad, “I’d need a comparable paying job. Mitzi is afraid of big city crimes now. She’s grown accustomed to small town country living. We have a much slower pace. I wouldn’t mind if we moved to a bigger city, just not this big.”
Mitzi heard what her three-year-old Ella said; “Papa, “I wish I could stay here forever.”
“Me too,” replied Papa knowing he and Nana wanted to be in their daily lives.
Then Ella asked Nana to read her a bedtime story. It ended with, “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I will stay there forever.” – Winnie the Pooh.
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Nonfiction; some names have been changed.
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I think because this was based on a true story there are some facts that are important to you that the reader didn't necessarily need. That's always so hard to ascertain though. I was a bit confused why teen siblings would live elsewhere, but then figured they were half siblings. I noticed you had some tense slips too, but they were quite minor.
I think you have a delightful sense of humor. It's subtle, but that's my favorite kind. You seemed to handle the topic well too. I think this was a harder topic for us non-Aussies, but you did a great job. The ending tugged at my heart a bit, which is great. This story was full of positive messages and well told.
A couple of tense changes caused me to re-read here and there, but overall, it has an air of authenticity.
Blessings~