Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TOURIST TRAP (08/20/15)
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TITLE: Injun-uity | Previous Challenge Entry
By Noel Mitaxa
08/27/15 -
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“Did you know Arnold’s back from the South West?” Dave asked, as they placed their orders and found a table. “I didn’t recognise him. Such a little guy struggling under the weight of that ten-gallon hat!”
Gerry just smiled. “Yes Dave,” he replied. “He phoned me. I recognised his voice, but only just, because he’s been attacked by a Texan drawl. And all he wants to drawl about is the old Wild West. A tough conversation starter for a downtown carpark attendant.”
Dave nodded, before a large shadow outside drew his focus over Gerry's shoulder. He gaped―jaw almost to the table―as the door opened to reveal their conversation topic. In person. But now in eagle feathers!
With colourful plumes towering overhead and trailing down his back, Arnold swished their way; creating a silence that almost made the muzak pause for breath.
Raising a leg and lifting his trailing headdress, he pivoted over the back of a chair and sunk down as if onto a saddle.
“Howdy pardners; how’s it bin since ah bin gawn?” The voice came from somewhere within all that plumage.
“Arnold?” they asked in unison.
“Wah, shore it eahs,” came a carefully-calculated reply. Then, without pausing for breath, he launched into a rootin’, tootin’, historical exposé of life down in the Ole West.
“Ah rode in a stage coach boys,” he announced.
“What was that like?” inquired Dave.
“It were a mite dusty, ’specially when Ah sat next to the driver. Thet’s when Ah also discovered thet the exhaust pipe wuz jes’ too close to the steerin’ fer comfert.
“But did you hombres know thet Oklahoma Territory gut ta be a state in 1854? An’ thet Buff’lo Bill gut his name from supplyin’ buff’lo meat for workers layin’ the Kansas Pacific Railroad treck? An’ thet General George Custer’s marchin’ song wuz a Irish drinkin’ song called Gary Owens? An’ thet Doc Holliday wus Wyatt Earp’s friend, an’ thet he wuz involved in nine shootouts?”
He paused for breath, and Gerry seized his chance to call a halt. "Whoa there, pardner,” he mimicked. “How’d you git all this schoolin’?”
“Ah met Geronimo’s grandson. An’ whut he doan know about the Wild West ain’t worth knowin.’ He’ll give yer five answers to five questions―all fer only five dollars.’
“Well, said Dave, after a pause, “You’ve hit us with four facts. What else did you ask him?”
“Ah asked him whut he hed fer brikfast on October 23, 1947, an’ he tole me, ‘Eggs!’ Ain’t thet reeee-markable?”
Gerry and Dave just smiled to each other. “Arnold,” countered Gerry as gently as he could. “Don’t most people have eggs for breakfast?
Arnold just gaped in this sudden revelation. “Heyy, yer jes' mebbe right. D’yer mean ah mita bin tricked bah thet injun feller?” A silent nod was all he needed to realise his embarrassment. He gently pulled off the feathers and quietly ordered a black coffee – this time in reclaimed, regular Midwest tones.
His Texan drawl evaporated; he never again wore his ten gallon hat or headdress; and his friendship with Gerry and Dave took on a much deeper level of acceptance.
Twenty years later; when he and his wife Stella were cruising towards El Paso, Texas; just past Cornudas they turned off Interstate 62 to explore an old ghost town.
They found tumbleweeds silently competing for bragging rights to the slowest trip along Main Street; and beneath the sagging verandas of deserted shops, ragged curtains flapped out through vacant windows, as if to glimpse whoever may be invading their emptiness.
Surely the ghosts had abandoned these ruins―in search of better haunts.
Then, beside the long-abandoned sheriff’s office, they saw a sign of life.
An old Indian, leaning against a broken windmill, was wrapped in a blanket. Approaching him, Arnold raised his right forearm―palm extended to show a measure of respect to this lonely, wizened figure.
“How!” he greeted him, smiling.
The blanket dropped to the ground. The old man lifted his gaze and beamed in reply.
“Scrambled!” he declared.
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God bless~
What's happening have you been taking lessons from Milly Born? That would explain the surge of recent wins!
Hahahahaha! You know I'm kidding...excellent job.
Congrats!
God bless~
Congratulations on your win in EC. As the wise Indian chief would say, "How! How you come up with all those in-genius story ideas. Definitely a gift from God.