Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Write for the HUMOR Genre (10/09/14)
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TITLE: Heard While Waiting for a Hand Out | Previous Challenge Entry
By Veronica Winley
10/14/14 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
“What do you mean?”
Imo shifted a bit. “I mean that’s the third time tonight the man has come to get you. Look, you’re almost all gone.”
“And your point is…?”
With feigned patience, Imo replied. “My point is that just two of me, once, and I’m usually in for the night. On rare occasions one more may be needed later…very rare. At least the woman knows that. Too bad he prefers you.”
Bismuth sputtered indignantly. “It was that basket of fried clams he ate, followed by a bowl of jalapeño chili. It gave him…well you know.”
Imo leaned over to read Bismuth’s label. “Um hmm, bloating, gas, cramps, etc. Yep.That’s what you’re for. Speedy relief ? Well, depends on what you call speedy.”
Twisting to look at down at her own label, she said. “Well, what do you know? That’s what I’m for too. Can’t imagine why they need us both; except, like I said, you’re not very effective, are you?
Before Bismuth could respond, a timid voice spoke from further along their shelf. “Using that much really can’t be very good for you, can it?”
They looked over at Cece, her bright orange insides a glowing backdrop for the words Children’s Cough Syrup on her label.
“Excuse me?” Bismuth and Imo said almost in unison.
Cece, used to the disdain of the cabinet, stammered “Isn’t there a warning or something on you?”
From the shelf above them a voice boomed. “Tighten your cap Kidstuff! What do you know? You couldn’t stop the cough of a sick stuffed animal.” Actually none of them liked to talk about their warnings.
A respectful silence fell, as it frequently did when Al spoke. Containing twenty five percent alcohol, he was the only true once-a-nighter in the cabinet. His effectiveness was regarded with awe. Now he sniffed with contempt.“You’re not much more than jumped up candy.”
Cece moved a little closer to Preppie, whose box of suppositories (and their function) had caused such ridicule when he first came, that he no longer spoke or drew unnecessary attention to himself.
“You are all so silly,” a voice drawled from next to Al. The biggest bottle in the cabinet, Daily took up most of the room on the shelf.
“You guys are all remedies.” He glanced down at Bismuth. “Well, most of you.” Nudging Al to get a bit more room, he continued. “I am a (you could almost hear the drum roll)… PREVENTATIVE. One of me a day and this cabinet would be a lot emptier.”
There was a stirring from the very top shelf and everyone, including Al and Daily, stopped fidgeting and glanced up. A quiet but authoritative voice said “Are we really having this discussion…again?”
Asper, the venerable and undisputed queen of the top shelf – and the cabinet – sighed. She turned her yellow and brown box slightly towards her companions, Allie, Mo and Ty in mild annoyance and then looked back down at the other shelves.
“At some point in the life of these people, we will all be needed. That should give us a sense of honor and responsibility, not arrogance. In fact, we should be glad that we are not hidden away in that lower drawer with the Scripts. Their presence is usually cause for a lot of concern. Now if you don’t mind, please settle down!”
In the lower drawer, the Scripts, looking very much alike with their white caps and labels and their very specific doctor’s instructions, usually ignored those in the cabinet. However one Script, hearing bits and pieces of this latest dispute, testily muttered “amateurs.”
Slightly chastened, with only a few low murmurs of defiance, the cabinet contents adjusted themselves in their places. An hour later, however, footsteps were heard approaching across the tiled bathroom floor. All the jars, bottles and boxes stood ready at attention. However, just before the cabinet door opened, Imo, snickering,said in a loud stage whisper,“I’ll bet he’s coming back again for you Bismuth.”
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