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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Lock and Key (08/21/14)
I sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for air. It was utterly dark in my room. I was blind, which sent me into panic mode. Blindness was another symptom, and I couldn't bear it if I lost my vision too. Just as I was about to hit second gear in my panic attack, there was a small click and light spilled across the room. My wife sat next to my bed, a look of profound concern etched over her beautiful face.

I collapsed back into my pillows, relief washing over me. Turning my head towards my wife, I smiled. I tried to tell her “thank you” but only grunts and indecipherable groans emerged. I could not get the words formed in my brain to travel to my tongue. I threw my head back in frustration, banging it violently against the soft cushions.

“Your welcome, dear.” My wife leaned forward and smoothed the blanket over my chest.

I turned my head towards the blank wall on my left, leaving the image of pity I saw in her eyes behind me. For days I had been like this, unable to communicate, but able to see and hear perfectly. Medications had done little to help the situation. All thoughts were locked inside my head, where there seemed no way to free them from my brain and get them out into the world.

Hour after hour people visited and told me to hang in there. That I would make a full recovery. That everything would be okay.

No! It won't! I wanted to scream. I so badly wanted to speak again that I would have gladly lost my cool and given everyone who came into my room a verbal beatdown. Usually my wife would make some lame excuse about me being tired—or loopy from the meds they were giving me—and efficiently usher the irritating visitors out of my room.

My days were spent trying to say something. Anything. Any word, or syllable, would have made me ecstatic. Even words I hated. Like “Bieber”. Or “irregardless.” “Irregardless” was too much to ask for, but I would have settled for just “ear”. Oh, well, it's not really a word anyway, but I figured if there would be anything I could actually say it would be something I absolutely hate hearing other people say. But even little games and tricks like that didn't work. There had to be some way I could unlock these hopelessly scrambled brainwaves and get a clear signal through to my tongue.

My mouth was so dry. I turned my head back to my wife, intending to try once more to communicate. She was holding a cup out towards me, straw bent towards my mouth. I drew my brows together in confusion as I took a sip.

That was weird.

I started to lift my head, and she hit the button on the side of the bed that slowly lifted the top half until I was sitting eye to eye with her. I tilted my head as I locked my gaze on hers and did a quick rundown.

Without fail for the past few days, it seemed she had anticipated my every need. When people were getting on my nerves she shooed them away. When I was hungry, a look was all it took to send her in search of food. Drinks were at hand almost before I knew I was thirsty. Bed adjustments, pillow fluffing, bathroom trips and even questions I wanted to ask the doctor. She took care of it all without missing a beat.

I realized, suddenly, that I had been struggling so much to vocalize all of my needs from the moment I lost my voice, but I had been communicating them somehow to my wife the whole time.

But, how? I looked into her lovely green eyes.

“Why, because I love you, of course, you silly goose!”

I blinked twice in confusion.

“I can read you like an open book. You're not that difficult, you know. Food, water, tv; pretty much all the same stuff you talk about when your tongue works.” She smiled at me a smile that touched her eyes. A smile that said “I love you” more than any words.

A lump formed in my throat. Love. That's how she knew. Love was the key. Once more my eyes met hers and a thought tried to fight it's way to my tongue.

“I know you do, dear. I know.”
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This article has been read 1022 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Rhonda Burns
08/29/14
I like how your story captured the theme of lock and key. I felt the husband's frustration through your writing and I wanted so much to help him find his voice! I also really enjoyed the portrayal of the wife loving him to the point of anticipating his needs without him asking. Would love to know what was wrong with him and if he ever gets cured! You definitely left me wishing you could exceed the 750 word limit!
C D Swanson 
08/29/14
You crafted a "love story" that was palpable. You illustrated their special bond in a masterful way.

The thoughts between a husband and wife, when in a solid relationship is a form of communication for sure, as you so cleverly depicted.

Great job.

God bless~
Terry Atchison
08/30/14
Your story is the definition of love in a marriage.
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
08/31/14
Not your usual humorous style, but the drama is intense. Thank your wife for me - for loving you!
Virgil Youngblood 
08/31/14
You kept the suspense building and wrapped it up with a satisfying finish. Well done.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
09/01/14
This is one of my favorites of your writing I have read AND of this challenge as well. It really touched me--not because I can't talk, but because my husband and I understand each other as your characters did. I love the tenderness in the story.
Bea Edwards 
09/02/14
Oh you dear man. Tears are streaming and refreshing my heavy spirit.
Brilliant portrayal of love.
Diane M. Bowman
09/04/14
Wonderful story. Well written.

To have a person who knows you well enough to anticipate your needs and thoughts...

Irregardless, I have a new word to use :)

Pauline Carruthers
09/04/14
I loved how you so beautifully and simply captured the bond between husband and wife. A lovely and moving story.
C D Swanson 
09/04/14
Joe,

Fabulous love story and magnificent writing in this beautifully inpsiring and moving piece.

God Bless~
C D Swanson 
09/04/14
Oops! So involved with writing again about this fabulous piece, I forgot the reason for coming by again...to say

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S

for a job well done and a magnificent piece of writing!

Great job.

God bless~
Danielle King 
09/04/14
Wonderful, captivating and heart-warming story. After I'd tried to diagnose your MC's malady - stroke, severe panic disorder, neuro trauma, I began to see that it was about much more than that. It was the special bond between husband and wife and you depicted it perfectly.

A huge congratulations on your well deserved placing.
Jody Day 
09/04/14
Congratulations! Very well done.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
09/04/14
Congratulations, Joe! I'm glad that it was a favorite of the judges, along with me!
'
Brenda Rice
09/04/14
Congrats on your placement.
Leola Ogle
09/05/14
What a beautiful portrayal of how love is! You did a wonderful job, Joe. Congratulations and God bless.