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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Bouncebackability (06/05/14)
Sometimes life just knocks you down
Takes your breath and spins you round
Clouds your mind and steals your go
Stops your will and ends the flow
It leaves you drained left for dead
Full of fear and just plain dread
No one to trust or lean on
Get back up and soldier on

A curve balls thrown from left field
Marriage a divorce a yield
A sickness enters and wham
Life receives a body slam
A loved one dies slips away
Could not hold on one more day
Lost the house the car and boat
Just can't seem to stay afloat
The bank is dry money's gone
Get back up and soldier on

It seems that faith is like mist
Life is just a hit or miss
Troubles and woes come like rain
Most is lost with little gain
This world and I love and hate
Fleeting things are just the bait
A poor man's silk or chiffon
Get back up and soldier on

Just around this very bend
Could be this trials very end
The new day about to dawn
Could bring a different morn
Bouncing back up every time
Has brought change to rhythm and rhyme
A miracle is just yon
Get back up and soldier on

Soldier on Soldier on
When all your strength is gone
You know Who to rely on
Get back up and soldier on
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This article has been read 768 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Milly Born
06/14/14
An encouraging poem—almost a battle song. The use of many one-syllable words brings about a strong, staccato rhythm. We can hear the soldiers march. The victory is around the corner.

I love it.
Noel Mitaxa 
06/14/14
A strong message that needs some pausing for breath, so punctuation might help here.
Some great imagery, but a curve ball comes from the pitcher - which is different from anything coming from left field.
That's my pink ink - rather than heavy red.
Ellen Carr 
06/14/14
A great poem with a great message and covering this topic very well. Minor red ink comments: You missed out a couple of apostrophes: "A curve balls thrown from left field", needed an apostrophe in "balls" & "Could be this trials very end" needed an apostrophe in "trials". Also, some mid-line commas would have helped in a couple of places. Easy mistakes to make. Well done though.
Lisa Johnson
06/14/14
sounds like the story of a number of people's lives... it will resonate with a lot of folks who read it... - just a little red ink, that is the same as previous comments about small punctuation issues... otherwise a very good poem with a great message
lynn gipson 
06/15/14
Great rhyming, the meter's a little off and punctuation is needed in a few places like:

A loved ones dies, slips away
Lost the house, the car, and boat

And I didn't understand this line:

Marriage a divorce a yield

The way you wrote this as a non free verse would have been better with full punctuation, in my humble poetic opinion, and of course I may be wrong.

But I loved the message!
Diane M. Bowman
06/15/14
Great poem.

I like to read poems but simply have no idea how to write them and am always amazed that people are capable of it, so no red ink from me!

I especially liked the last verse.

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again...
(Proverbs 24:16 KJV)
Mar
06/16/14
I loved this poem! and reads so much like a song, so punctuation not always needed, and it does sound like a battle song!
Joe Moreland
06/16/14
Poetry is not really my thing, so I'm not very qualified to give much constructive criticism. What I liked about this one, though, is the message. It came through clearly and strongly, and it nails the topic perfectly.

Nice job!
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
06/16/14
Breathtaking. Good incentive for those rough patches . . .
C D Swanson 
06/16/14
I may not be an editor, or a prolific writer...all I know is that I loved this!

It was fabulous. I got the entire message. And when I write free verse messages, I do so without punctuations. I personally think they flow better. But, again...I'm not a judge, nor an editor...all I know is that you touched my heart with this excellent and worthy message.

Excellent and well done!!!

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/20/14
Congratulations on ranking 15th overall! Happy Dance!
Dee Kyalo
06/20/14
This is a very uplifting poem. Beautifully written!