Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Omnishambles (05/01/14)
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TITLE: The MacCrackens and the Campbells | Previous Challenge Entry
By Virginia Lee Bliss
05/07/14 -
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Upon the land of Clan of Campbell.
Alas, Jock stumbled on a bramble
Which sadly slowed him to an amble.
Jock tramped gamely, with a whistle.
But when he trod upon a thistle,
The pain indeed caused him to bristle.
And thus begins this sad epistle.
Jock marched on and slid into a mire.
He clambered out, crying out in ire.
“Och! Befalls me such a fate so dire.
I’m soakin’ wet. My Lord, I might expire.
“Oh rue the day I met the Campbells.
Ma clothes an’ feet are now a shambles.
Who’d think I’d have tae take such gambles,
Just going on about ma rambles?
“Campbell’s brambles in a shambles an’ a jumble
Caused ma tumble; then upon a thistle, stumble.
Into the fen I fell, from yet another fumble.
Alas, I feel my friendship for the Campbells crumble.”
Jock swore amongst the bonnie bluebells
That sure he’d ring the dreaded death knells.
“From burns an’ braes an’ dales an’ dells,
I’ll banish Campbells tae the hells.”
By mornin’tide the word was out.
Of Jock’s revenge, there was no doubt.
He planned for Campbell that he’d “rout
Him out of hoose an’ hame,” he’d shout.
Campbell knew this was The-Thick-of-It. *
Indeed it was a sticky wicket.
How was he to escape this thicket?
His clansmen all, must be his picket.
The Campbells stomped along the bracken,
Allowing not their pace to slacken.
They vowed to kill one Jock MacCracken
Who caused their very name to blacken.
McCracken men took up a quiver,
And marched along the Yarrow River.
Their battle cry did make one shiver,
“Tae Campbell’s clan, death we deliver.”
The pipers played and the kilts, they swayed.
Both clans paraded in the glade.
Both vowed to see the vengeance paid
With blood of those who had betrayed.
At gloamin’ in the cloudless weather,
From Bracken Brae amongst the heather,
Behold the havoc that lies nether.
Who won the fight? We know not whether.
The Campbell clan is in a shambles.
MacCracken clan is in the brambles.
Because MacCrackens fought the Campbells,
Nocht now is left but Scomnishambles. **
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
* The Thick of It was a British television comedy in which the word “omnishambles” was coined in 2009.
** The word “Scomnishambles” was coined in 2012, to describe an omnishambles in Scottish politics.
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Clever and entertaining. Well done.
God bless~
I loved every word. Great job!
I don't drink malt and I'm a Sasanach -- so all I can do is shake me 'ead an' marvel.
Blessings.
You crafted a completely original and unique piece of prose.