The Official Writing Challenge
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05/10/10
Poor misguided Judas. He wanted to write an ending that was much different than God had planned.
05/11/10
You draw the reader into the mind of Judas. The guilt he felt was tangible. What a fascinating thought, the rope from the triumphal entry used by Judas to end his life. Amazing work on this Biblically-based story!
05/11/10
OK. I am sorry but I cannot help gushing all over this.

I am breathless.
The writing is so ALIVE!
!!!WoW!!!
Just gorgeous.

I am so proud of you, Rachel.
Well, it's a "gush-able" piece of writing! I too was drawn into the mind of Judas; his absolutely impossible position as the betrayer of Christ--his remorse (no, make that solid black guilt) was palpable in this story. I just can't imagine that struggle, but you brought it to us incredibly well.
05/11/10
Unique and fascinating angle - I've never been "inside" Judas' thoughts. You brought us there effortlessly. Excellent job!
05/11/10
Very clever... well-written, as always... evocative... and as I always find about Judas, disturbing. (That's nothing to do with your writing, but about Judas himself... and us.)
What a unique way to approach this topic. I've often been amazed at how Jesus loved Judas and called him friend, even knowing what was in his heart. This is wonderful writing.
Girl, you definitely didn't go wrong with this one!

Wow, oh, wow. The first line was amazing. The only thing, maybe, is you could have slipped white space in after to set it apart. On second thought, the words set themselves apart. Wow.
Your take on seeing through Judas' eyes was very creative and as always, very well written.

As a "beginner", and you in Masters, hope this is helpful and perhaps "just me" but since I knew it was a biblical character from the start, I was distracted while reading it because I was trying to figure out who it was. If the scrolls hadn't been mentioned, then think it would have been more powerful to find out the story was about Judas.
Taking a historical character and breathing life into him is no easy task. It must be done with a universal truth all readers see in the protagonist while still putting forth another side of him that we might have not thought of ourselves - all the while, making him believable. I think you've done that here and done it well.
05/12/10
Methinks this is another winner!
How gripping. The intensity of the emotion felt is profound. A glimpse of a scene that makes your heart race.
05/12/10
This was ....well, words leave me. I'm a writer without words to describe what you did.

This was just so good!!

I could really feel his ambitions turned to remorse.
Very well written. A creative approach to teh topic. A powerful read all the way through.
05/12/10
Your characters are always so real and well portrayed as in this wonderful insight to Judas' darkest moments.
For some reason I wanted a verb in that 1st sentence. Perhaps you didn't, for emphasis.
I always look forward to your entries and am never disappointed.

Mona
05/12/10
This is incredibly vivid and engaging. I was right there with him. SO well done.
05/12/10
I like it when certain items or events get pulled in to make a story have a thought provoking depth to it. The two itmes you used that really drew me into the story were the mention of Judas' feet being dirty and the rope from the donkey that Jesus rode on being his instrument of choice for his death. I also love the creativity of thinking that Judas was writing his own "gospel".