The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/15/08
Great poem in the midst of this story. The contrast between the two girls was very evident.

There felt like a POV shift here (not positive it actually was, but it felt like it). The top felt like it was from Sherry's view, and the end from Wendy's.

Great message too - and you captured the teenage personality quite well.
08/16/08
I've never seen this format before.. and really loved it.. putting a poem in the midst of a story.. and the poem BLEW me away... I took notice to it more than if it was just a poem that was written... GREAT HOOK and loved the ending...
08/17/08
Very good. I liked the way you fit the poem in with the story, and then concluded with prose to show that the sun had come out on this angry and upset teenager. Very creative!..Helen
Your poem of hope moved more than Wendy. I was touched and challenged by it as well. Realistic dialogue carries the story well.
08/18/08
Very entertaining, reader involvement and creativity with the poem. High non-counting marks from me. God bless.
08/18/08
Dynamic, realistic, engaging dialogue between the two girls. I love readign pieces like this because I'm trying to work on my own less vivid dialogue. This was REAL!Wendy's gripe list--although not so funny given her pain--made me chuckle sympathetically. Within our word limit, you managed to get me to care about both girls instantly. I was so amazed by the beginning and Wendy's reluctant change as she read the poem that the ending felt rushed, too "summed up" for me.
Very realistic dialoge and great message.
I thought your dialogue between the sisters was excellent and very believable. Great way to set up a lovely poem. Nicely done.
08/20/08
What I liked about this was that it fit nicely in the context of the story, but also had application outside. Creative presentation.
08/21/08
The poem had a perfect message and was wrapped in very believable prose. It lightened my heart too. Thanks!
09/26/08
This was a VERY creative way to work in "Hide-and-Seek." I really enjoyed the girls' interaction. Somehow, it made me think of me and my sisters! The voices you used for these girls made it very real.

I really liked the poem, what it taught Wendy and how she decided on changing right away. Now that's a yeilded heart! :)