Row, Row, Row Your Goat | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Row, Row, Row Your Goat | Previous Challenge Entry
By Allison Egley
08/07/08
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Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream.

Tony Troll sang softly as he lounged under the bridge. His bridge. Just as he was about to doze, he heard a noise.

Trip, trap, trip, trap

In one mighty leap, Tony propelled himself onto the bridge. "Who's walking over my bridge?" Tony asked, in that all too familiar villain voice.

"Billy Billy Goat Guff," the intruder said.

"'Billy Billy?' What kind of name is that?" Tony asked.

"I'm the youngest. My parents were running out of "B" names when they got to me."

"We'll, it's no matter what they call you, because I am going to eat you."

"Oh, please don't eat me," Billy Billy begged. "My brother will be coming over soon. Eat him. He's much bigger than me."

"I'm pretty hungry. How about if I just eat both of you?"

"Mr. Troll, do you really think my brother will come over if you eat me?"

"Hmm... you make an excellent point. Be on your way."

With a flip of his head and a taunt, Billy Billy crossed the bridge and gorged himself on the luscious grass.

Trip, trap, trip, trap

That must be Billy Billy's older brother. With flair and a twist, Tony jumped onto the bridge. "Who's walking over my bridge?" Tony asked.

"I'm Bobby Billy Goat Gruff."

Tony sized him up. He was noticeably larger than Billy. "And just where do you think you're going?"

"To the other side of the bridge to join my brother Billy Billy."

"Well, you can just mark that right off of your calendar, because I've got a different schedule. You, my friend, are scheduled to be my lunch."

"Oh, please don't eat me. My older brother will be coming soon, and he's much bigger than I am."

"Well, why don't I just eat both of you?"

"Mr. Troll, I really thought you to be more intelligent. Surely my younger brother said the same thing to you when he walked past. And surely he told you I wouldn't come if you ate him. So do you really think our older and wiser brother will come across the bridge if you eat me?"

Tony eyed Bobby Billy skeptically. "Just how many of you are there, anyway?"

"Oh, only three."

"You promise there's only one more of you, and he won't just say the same thing?"

"Cross my hooves and hope to die."

"Well, I suppose you'll have to hope to die for just one more day, because you do make a valid point. I shall wait. But I must ask one more question. Where's the family loyalty? Don't you care if your brother is eaten?"

"Our natural enemies are the mountain lion, jaguar, and cheetah. We learn not to get too attached."

"Another valid point. Run along. I have no use for you."

With a flip of his head and a taunt, Bobby Billy Goat Gruff was on his way, gorging himself until he had a stomach ache.

Trip, trap, trip, trap

Tony rubbed his hands together and let out an evil laugh. With the finesse of an Olympic pole-vaulter, he catapulted himself onto the bridge. "Who's walking across my bridge?" He sang, with an evil glint in his eye.

"I’m Bubba Billy Goat Gruff."

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"To join my brothers in the field. You know what they always say, 'The grass is always greener on the other side of the bridge.'"

"You will not be joining your brothers. And don't try the 'There's another bigger goat coming' line on me. Your brothers sealed your fate. I'm going to eat you for lunch, and mid-day snack, and dinner, and maybe even tomorrow morning's breakfast."

"Hey, Mr. Troll, don't look now, but there's a big group of people heading your way. Get ready to get rich!"

Tony turned around to greet his newest customers, and just as he did, Bubba Billy rammed Tony Troll in his tush. Tony, who was a rather portly fellow, (which makes his leaping ability all the more impressive) tumbled over the bridge and into the lake. He soon learned a brand new meaning of the term "dead weight."

With a flip of his head and a taunt, Bubba joined his brothers, gorging himself to the point of no return. The brothers settled there, deciding the grass really was greener on the other side of the bridge.

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