The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Telephone (07/17/08)
La laa la la laaaa-la laa la laaaa-la laa la la laaaa la laaaaaa…

“ARRRRRGGG !! I can’t stand it! Why can’t you sing your silly ol’ song just a little bit later in the morning, like after sunrise?”

I pulled my pillow over my ears. Every morning at 4 o’clock, a melody drifts into my room. I didn’t hear it the first few nights, because I was so tired nothing could have woken me. But last Thursday, it was so muggy I had to open a window. As I lay there thinking over my situation, I heard it…so faintly that I thought someone was playing a radio across the lake.

I had come to the cabin to get away. I was tired of being treated like a kid. Just because I had no where else to go for the summer, no money and no job, I went home. Dad hugged me and Mom cleaned up my old room, with the pink wallpaper and pink flowered sheets.

It wasn’t so bad at first, but they complained about my clothes, my friends, my appetite, and my schedule. Dad grumbled about me not having a job, and Mom worried about me coming in at “unreasonable hours.” They didn’t care while I was in college. Why now? That’s why I had to get away… away from everything, so I could think things out.

But, that stupid music won’t let me sleep!

Friday morning, a crazy bird was squawking, so I got up to close the window. I heard the music again. I stuck my head out the window to hear it better, but it wasn’t outside. A soft breeze sifted through the leaves and caressed my warm cheeks. It smelled sweet and reminded me of Grammy’s garden. When I finally stepped back into the room, the song was gone.

That was a week ago. Every morning at 4 o’clock sharp…

La laa la la laaaa-la laa la laaaa-la laa la la laaaa la laaaaa…

I can’t find it! I can’t stop it! I’ve looked everywhere! But it only plays for about a minute and stops…until the next morning at 4 o’clock! I tried to sleep through it, but my silly body wakes up to see if it will sing again. I feel like I’m going crazy!

I’ll have to admit that I’ve been learning to enjoy getting up early, but don’t tell my folks. I like sitting on the porch, wrapped in a hand-stitched quilt, with a cup of coffee, and watch the lake turn gold and pink in the early sunshine. Some mornings, the loons play “Marco Polo” through the morning mists.

It’s really quiet around here, too quiet. It used to be a noisy place when we came here for our summer vacation. My brothers and I were in the water from morning to night, splashing and screeching and having fun. We got Grampy’s old rowboat out and explored the whole lake, after we progressed from rowing in circles.

I remember when Dad took us for a ride one night. We floated through the reflected stars. He sang “Amazing Grace.” We worshiped the Lord in the middle of the lake, in the middle of the night. Sigh… Maybe I’ll go for a ride tonight, if I can stay awake that long.

I’ve been going to bed early…well, earlier than I used to. It’s that mysterious music waking me up every morning! Actually, the sounds of the water and woods usually make me feel so drowsy…except for last night! Last night, I heard a whipporwill. At least, I think that’s what it was. It must have called 100 times. Maybe he feels lost too.

I think I’ll go back home tomorrow. I’m running out of food and clean clothes. I suppose I could apply for a job at the new greenhouse. I wonder if Mom would teach me to crochet a sling-sack like I saw in the catalog.

La laa la la laaaa-la laa la laaaa-la laa la la laaaa la laaaaaa…

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m going to miss that stupid tune. Hmmmm… I hope I have one more pair of shorts in the bottom of this bag. Huh? What’s this? A cell phone? Cool! Dad must have stuffed it in my bag when he carried it out to the car.

8 MISSED CALLS

RING TONE: La laaaa la la laaaa- la laa la laaaa- la laa la la laaaa la laaaaa..





“Amazing Grace” by John Newton
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1590 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
07/24/08
Hehe - was wondering how you'd work the topic in. Very clever. the characterization was quite realistic. Good stuff.
Sharlyn Guthrie
07/25/08
What a smart dad! Very cute story.
Sunny Loomis 
07/25/08
I like the part about floating through the reflected stars. You capture just the right words. Good job!
Verna Cole Mitchell 
07/28/08
This is a wonderful story. I loved the description and the character development especially.
Carol Wiley
07/29/08
I liked how you made the character grow up some. My only question is if the Dad would have really got up at 4:00 am to call her every morning. Maybe having the alarm sound on the phone, like it had been preset, would have been more realistic than the missed calls. I loved your writing and the story!
Amy Michelle Wiley 
07/29/08
Fun story. Not sure why or who was calling her at 4:00 AM every morning, but I guessed it might be something like that.
Joy Faire Stewart
07/30/08
Excellent writing. I especially enjoyed the paragraph were they floated on the lake singing "Amazing Grace." Good ending, too.
Laury Hubrich 
07/30/08
I liked watching the transformation in this girl. Very good! Great descriptions, too.
Karen Wilber
07/30/08
Delightful!
"sitting on the porch, wrapped in a hand-stitched quilt, with a cup of coffee, and watch the lake turn gold and pink in the early sunshine." <-- Ahhh, I could use some of this right now.
Sara Harricharan
07/30/08
Heehee! So funny to find out that it was just a phone. Lol. I liked this, the MC was a real hoot! Especially the repeating italics of Laaaaa. lolz. Very nicely done! ^_^