The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
06/14/08
So tragic. You did an incredible job with the contrast between the two worlds. This touched me, and definitely made me think. Wonderfully done.
06/15/08
This was a different take on the reunion. A welcome break from all the hijinks this week. Good job with the tension--it really got uncomfortable in there. Your descriptions were great and the story has a ring of authenticity about it. Well done.
06/16/08
I felt awkward just reading this...wow. Great atmosphere...well done.
You did a great job showing how uncomfortable some reunions can be. Well done my friend.
This is such a different and honest take on family reunions. You have some rich details that I love. "soil-laden boy shuffle his lanky body down the lane, the dirt devils rising all around him like he was the eye of an approaching storm." I could see, feel, taste everything about that sentence! You didn't gloss over a thing but told it precisely like it happened, warts and all. A truly great piece!
06/16/08
Good grief, Dee--this is how you write while still under traces of anaesthesia? You're incredible! Such mastery of mood...awesome.
06/18/08
Ah...I think I have met these people. ; ) This was a great look into a lifestyle many often don't realize truly exists. Awkward and colorful, love the discriptions.
06/18/08
We wouldn’t have to visit again for a long time...What a family reunion! Well told and descriptive...I think I would feel the way the visiting "mother" felt, too. I've seen a few families like that too, even here in the north (Canada, that is)..slow moving, casual, non emotional, but hospitable...And despite their "hospitality" I was always glad when the visit was over...But relatives?..Whew! Good story and well told...Helen
Great diversity here and the best part for me was that Dad included himself as a "hillbilly". Not far from the roots.......

I could read many more pages about this back country family.
Wow! I was wondering about the title and how it fit, but wow, at the end, I was just as relieved for them to get out and away. A very different reunion story-I like it a lot! ^_^
06/19/08
This is a wonderful take on the topic. You left me thinking too... I enjoyed this. I, too, could read more on this family...
Wonderful job creating tension, even tho Dad didn't seem to sense it, in his wife & kids. Great characterization and dialog and dialect. This entry rocks!
You have a way of placing your reader right in the middle of the scene. I felt like I was one of your characters acting right along with them. Great description. Loved this.
Wow. I felt the discomfort of this meeting. I could picture myself just sitting there silently wishing I were somewhere else.

Good job putting the reader right there in the scene.
06/21/08
Thanks you masters for your expertise and encouragement that we writers experience from you, right from starting out as beginners.